... and then my truck broke down ....

Sometimes life seems like a twangy country song. Admit it. There comes a point when, after the divorce(s), and the job drama, after the car wreck, the death of both your dogs within months of each other, the tears of children, and the financial and emotional stress of a couple of legal proceedings, plus day to day life of just trying to get by and be there for everyone & still look at yourself in the mirror each morning, well, you feel like Waylon Jennings or Tammy Wynette should be singing about your life! And then you take a good hard deep down look. And then you realize that the only person that can exact the change in your circumstances .. that can really make a difference in the turmoil that surrounds your being .. is YOU. And so begins "LIFE VERSION 2.0"

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Scents & Seashores

The smell of the seashore after a quick rainstorm.  That clean, fresh, new beginning, rainwashed scent mixed with salty air & fresh dune grasses, & a bit of sandy grit.  All the while, the sound of relentless waves crashing permeates the air that's breathed.  It's new beginnings, its washed away endings,  its both solitude & feeling social all in one.  Somewhere,  far in the distance,  the sounds of thunder can be heard.  Like troubles passed & those yet to come but too far away to cause concern. Kinda makes you take a momentary life restock.  Just sayin.
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

The S&M Of It All ...

I think we all may be sado-masochists at base level. Life throws you a curve ball ... you either swing and miss, or swing and hit it out of the park. Either way, you, at best, end up with sore muscles or, at worst, dislocate your shoulder and strain a rib in the process. What is it about life that causes us to put ourselves through emotional / physical / financial / theoretical pain in order to achieve that which we believe in? Is it simply a question of human tendency? Why are we so hell bent on achieving whatever goal or outcome that we kill ourselves in the process? AND, how do those tactics ultimately affect those closest to us, or those simply around us? What would humankind be like if everyone took the path of least resistance as much as possible? I'm still trying to figure this one out ... until then, I'm making sure I've got a case of Tiger Balm and a vat of Ibuprofen handy ... ~ The Girl In The Little Back Dress

Sanity: Says Who?

Sanity. Such a subjective, yet fleeting term. How is it truly defined? Appreciated or determined? The summer solstice, according to ancient pagan thought, should be honored, as it reminds us just how precious each day and season is, because the truth of its passing away is also acknowledged. To remember to appreciate gifts, not take them for granted. Somehow, on the evening of that time of solstice, it seems appropriate to look more closely at that which is supposedly important ... like sanity. Sanity is technically defined as: common sense, reasonableness & predictability; the condition of being mentally healthy and able to make rational decisions. The question then becomes, who gets to determine what is mentally healthy, rational &/or reasonable? You? Me? The government? Society in general? Can anyone really define that which is sane thought? Other than the basic adherence to general life laws like not killing or stealing or harming others, how can it truly be said what is sane thought or actions for others? To a staid corporate-type person, the urge to dance and sing at will, to create poetry through movement when inspired by a sight or situation may seem not sane. To an extrovert, the thought of being happy sitting alone reading a book while others frolic just beyond the doorway may seem not sane. To those who are deeply religious, the thought process of those whom are simply spiritual but don't really follow a particular God (or Goddess) may not seem sane at all. Really, though, isn't all of this simply a case of free-choice? Of freedom of spirit? Personally, I find the concept of sanity quite subjective. Seriously, in a world, a cosmos, so great & far-reaching that portions are yet to be discovered or understood, who are any of us to judge what thoughts or general actions may seem "sane" or "reasonable" or "rational" to others? In that same vein, to judge ourselves sane or not, can be rather subjective as well. I feel a little overwhelmed nuts if there's too much chaos surrounding me all at once, and taking an evening or so of downtime alone or doing something that harnesses my creative side like painting or dancing or writing tends to make me feel calmer, happier. Is that the difference between my being not sane and then sane again? Do life circumstances affect our views of sanity? There are infinite ways the question can be phrased or even viewed. Some things, I suppose, are not only not for us to judge, but also not for us to ever truly know ... even in ourselves. ~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Sixty-Four Squares of Lessons

From the first moment of audition through the rehearsal process, from opening night until the final curtain of the last show, an artist goes through more highs & lows physically and emotionally than a schizophrenic drinking jeager-bombs. Having just finished the run of Chess the Musical, I'm currently in the reflective phase of comedown after the final curtain. The cast became family & the show itself our bubble of everything that was both fantastic and frustrating in life. I learned so much in so many ways, and not just in the forms of theater arts via our directors & choreographer. These are just a few of them:

Things are not always what they seem ...

Onstage, creating the fantasy that becomes a temporary reality escape for the audience is key. So many times in life there is the fantasy, a person's internal perception of a situation, that can seem so much more real than the overarching truth of what is actually occurring in reality. Misgivings about oneself, doubt, confusion, conflicting emotions about everything occurring around you, can warp the line between what's real and what's imagined. The same can be said for the perceptions of those around that person. Remembering that without the benefit of a crystal ball that gives background & all encompassing perception about every "player" in "the game" is an important part of not jumping to a judgement conclusion that results in some "squalid little ending" .... conclusions jumped to, about oneself or others, are usually some level of wrong anyways.

Nobody's on nobody's side .... sort of.

This is true of everyone, but especially the occasionally warped sense of humor of those who are in a position of control! Their version of the end result could be good, could be bad, could be just plain amusing, and any one of those results is probably completely subjective, although all can be learned from! Just because you can't initially see the big picture doesn't mean it isn't going to be brilliant ... go with it.

Everybody's playing the game, but nobody's rules are the same

Ultimately in life, on the stage and/or behind closed doors, Everyone is out to prove themselves. To prove themselves to the world around them, to people close to them, to their own sense of self-worth. We all just go about it in slightly different ways. In that same vein, everyone approaches the team effort slightly differently. It takes all mindsets & all approaches working together to create the best possible final picture. Everyone fits in somewhere in that puzzle ... there really no one right way to achieve it.

Final basic (not so serious) takeaways

Enunciation is of utmost importance, especially when singing tongue-twisters.

Too much pineapple juice will make your stomach feel not great while under hot stage lights.

Lattes go especially well with edible marshmallow glitter.

It is possible to jump, spin, leap, do splits, and all-around dance your ass off in 3"-5" heels, as long as you practice more than twice in them first.

Google eyes can turn weird looking objects into something you'd want as a pet .. or just to release into the wild.

Febreeze & a Tide pen are two of the most useful things ever backstage ... besides bobby pins, safety pins, eyelash glue, and ribbon.

Glitter fixes almost any stage makeup mistake, and sometimes there can never be enough of it. However, it does not leave. Ever. Forty-five showers & fifty makeup remover wipes later, it's still attached to eyelashes, skin and hair. Seriously.

At the End of the Game

Thanks to the entire cast and crew for an amazing, enlightening, empowering show experience. I'm sad that it's over, but looking forward to the phenomenal things we'll create together in the future! Glitter hugs to all! Each game of chess, means there's one less, variation left to be played.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Frolicking ... not just for fun anymore? :)

Field Day was one of my favorite days growing up .. of elementary school, anyway. The place where I'd normally get in trouble for not sitting still or for talking when I wasn't supposed to would turn into an organized paradise of activity for a day. Silly competitive games like tug of war, water balloon battles, relay races, and blacktop art contests brought our class together. Those of us who typically only pretended to get along in front of the teacher, all seemed to be honestly working together for the common goal of class honor. Victory, was of greatest importance. Teamwork, the only way to achieve it.

Life as a grown up .... no field days. It's sad, really. Corporate America preaches team building, teamwork, efforts in your field toward a common goal ..... yet industry & office politics tend to thwart many sincere efforts toward that goal (by the way, the politics portion reminds me of high school, not elementary, but that's a different story for a different day). Does chronologically leaving our younger childhood days behind delete our ability to honestly put aside our differences and work together toward a common goal for even a day? Or, much like growing from elementary into high school, do the additional years and experiences make us less able to truly work within a team?

Maybe the lesson here is to Bring Back Field Day. Imagine what the office, the city, the world in general would be if for one day a year everyone thrown together in their respective work environments, wore old clothes & beat up sneakers & joined forces for victory against the office next door in a water balloon toss or a parking lot chalk art contest. No subterfuge, no gossiping about the person in the next cubicle ... just honest effort toward a common goal that's a silly positive one. Maybe its the silliness that makes the difference. Who knows. Okay, Corporate America, who's in?!

~The Girl In The Little Black Dress