Sunday, February 24, 2013

Bullying By Example

Bullying.  There's a large movement to increase awareness & prevent bullying with kids & adolescents. I agree with it wholeheartedly. Children, however, tend to learn most effectively by example.  Let's face it.  The examples being set by the grownups in society are not exactly stellar in the effort against bullying. Give those tactics a different name, & all of a sudden it's okay & accepted. Not exactly conducive to learning by example.

Many managers & executives in the business arena govern their employees with threats, ultimatums, & constant micromanagement fear of pay cuts or job loss. This is usually known as "management styles" or "business tactics". 
Some lawyers, aka "Ambulance Chasers", make their living seeking out clients for lawsuits of any kind in an effort to exhort money, create mistrust, & dissolve relationships, while divorcing spouses & their lawyers use everything from past settled arguments to threats of withholding property and, at most damaging, the children themselves, in an attempt to achieve each of their outcomes, without thought for the cost to others involved.  This tends to be referred to as "the Justice System". 
The salesman that pressures customers to purchase that which they may not really need or want (Sales Tactics).  The governments that sanction or retaliate against other governments for not operating the same as their own (International Policy).  The religious groups that condone violence against others due to a difference in beliefs or ways of living (Religious Right).  No matter how it's spun, these are examples of bullying at the grownup level.

Now think about how all of the aforementioned appears to a child. If the supposed adults in charge use pressure, coercion, & threats in a variety of forms to achieve their goals daily, what should we really expect them to take away from those examples?  What are they truly learning by example? It would seem, until the grownups figure out how to conduct themselves in a more accepting, empathetic, less subversive manner, the problem of childhood bullying will continue to be an issue across the board.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Monday, February 4, 2013

Second Chances

Second chances.  Why are these such a gray area for so many?  People change, and grow, and evolve into what is hopefully the best version of themselves that they can be. Should we forever continue to pass judgement based upon someone's past?

As I watched the Superbowl last night, I noticed that many people were posting on Facebook and Twitter that their reason for rooting against Baltimore was Ray Lewis' murder charge from a decade ago. There were just as many rooting for Baltimore because of his retirement. If someone is legally accused of something, but is acquitted or charges are dropped, or even if they're convicted & ultimately pay their debt & make amends, should we continue to judge them based upon that bad decision in their life? What if they've made the effort to change? What if they've learned valuable lessons and applied those lessons in their life? If they have made a true honest attempt to become a better person, should we continue to equate them with their past transgressions?

People give forgiveness for things large & small throughout their daily lives. Hurts of all forms, emotional, theoretical, & physical, are forgiven by those who have been injured every day. Parents forgive the child who shattered their most expensive vase, spouses forgive their partners for making mean hurtful comments in anger, neighbors forgive their neighbor for breaking something that was borrowed. The example of Ray Lewis is a larger, more global example, but the theory applies across the board on both personal and societal levels. If positive efforts are made, who is any one of us to forever judge?

"Too err is human, to forgive is divine"

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress