The Humanity of Give Versus Take

A neighbor of mine said the other day, "there are givers and takers in this world ... unfortunately, the givers usually end up getting screwed,"  I agree with him .. for the most part.

Those who are the "takers" spend their lives expecting everyone to do what they want, give in to their needs ... essentially bow to them and their every whim. They use multiple forms of persuasion, tactics that smack of under-handedness, and any con artist move they can, legal or non, to achieve whatever their ultimate goal is. It's actually a truly pitiful existence. To only be able to take without experiencing the joy of giving.

Those who are "givers" get the opportunity to experience and appreciate the smiles and pure joy on someone's face when they create a token of words or gifts or actions that require no return of actions or strings attached. They feel happy by doing such things. They don't need hurrahs or accolades, they just do these things for others because it should be done out of pure respect for humanity. They're content to do so, and don't think about "what's in it for them" in the process.

The "givers" versus the "takers". Most of us have a little of both in us.  While I truly believe that both Yin and Yang, light and darkness, is in each of us, and that one cannot exist without the other, I also believe that the "givers", regardless of getting trod upon, live happier lives than the "takers". While unfair pain may be experienced at times, the reward of life's little things, like a child's smile, a friend in need's hug, a loved one's kiss, the total body wagging of a pet greeting you just because you showed up, unexpected laughter, ultimate trust ... these are things that can never be truly known or appreciated by the "takers".

It's to be pitied, actually. The sad fact is that there are people out there who view themselves as so entitled, so above the echelon, so above reproach, that in their quest for the perfect life they end up living the lives that are more miserable than most. How sad is that?!

Gandhi said that "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean become dirty, the ocean does not become dirty." Well said, Sir!  I pity those that can only take and not give, can only hurt and not help, can only think of themselves and not others. I truly believe, though, that that Yin, that light as opposed to dark is somewhere deep in all of us. Hopefully someday those people will find it in themselves and no longer wreak the havoc that creates a negative ripple effect doomed to surround them. Poor, misguided humans.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Second Chances

Second chances.  Why are these such a gray area for so many?  People change, and grow, and evolve into what is hopefully the best version of themselves that they can be. Should we forever continue to pass judgement based upon someone's past?

As I watched the Superbowl last night, I noticed that many people were posting on Facebook and Twitter that their reason for rooting against Baltimore was Ray Lewis' murder charge from a decade ago. There were just as many rooting for Baltimore because of his retirement. If someone is legally accused of something, but is acquitted or charges are dropped, or even if they're convicted & ultimately pay their debt & make amends, should we continue to judge them based upon that bad decision in their life? What if they've made the effort to change? What if they've learned valuable lessons and applied those lessons in their life? If they have made a true honest attempt to become a better person, should we continue to equate them with their past transgressions?

People give forgiveness for things large & small throughout their daily lives. Hurts of all forms, emotional, theoretical, & physical, are forgiven by those who have been injured every day. Parents forgive the child who shattered their most expensive vase, spouses forgive their partners for making mean hurtful comments in anger, neighbors forgive their neighbor for breaking something that was borrowed. The example of Ray Lewis is a larger, more global example, but the theory applies across the board on both personal and societal levels. If positive efforts are made, who is any one of us to forever judge?

"Too err is human, to forgive is divine"

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress