Wednesday, February 27, 2019
Primary School Lessons from the Cohen Hearings
Tuesday, January 8, 2019
Once Upon A Time, There Was A Wall
Donald Trump has taken the U.S. Presidency to a new level of demented millennialism. The first president to have zero political background, the first president to consistently tweet his personal Twitter account without thought for repercussions or his administration. In some ways it could be viewed as awkwardly admirable. This man took office with a mindset to treat the country like a corporation and right the U.S. economy as such. His tactics, however, are some of the most abysmal the world has seen since Hitler promised Germany jobs and economic fixes after the Great Depression.
Hitler blamed economic downfall and socioeconomic issues on the Jewish population. At that time in history, the world had just come out of the hell of WWI, and was on the tail end of a worldwide economic depression. It wasn't difficult for someone with a semblance of oratory skill to convince a terrified country's population that there were a specific group of people that were to blame for their financial woes, no matter how misguided the accusations. The terrified, the scared, the misguided; those were the people who voted Hitler into office and blindly followed his directives which ultimately resulted in the most horrific wartime atrocities the world has ever seen.
Fast forward to the internet age. What do you get when you place a silver spoon kid turned real estate mogul and egotistical narcissist into the White House? You get a similar result. A population on the tail end of recession desperate for relief, despite the efforts of previous administrations. A glimmer of light opening for a wide variety of right wing fringe sects to actively espouse their beliefs; their flames fanned by the incinerating rhetoric of a man who has never known a day of hunger or basic need in his entire life.
The wall that Trump wants to build, that he is essentially holding the U.S. hostage to build, is the same type of symptomatic governmental narcissism as the wall the post WWII Germany built. Not only are his tactics holding the U.S. hostage in the realm of government, but they're putting the entire world at risk in multiple areas like aviation safety, agriculture, military assistance, and even the borders that he claims to hold so dear. Those who count on government assistance or government based jobs to feed their families can kiss that goodbye. Apparently this wall, that makes the United States appear more like a scene from "A Handmaiden's Tale," is far more important than the needs of anything else in the nation.
It is incredibly unfortunate when world leaders take their own personal egos and views, and make them more important on the political and humanitarian front than the needs of the population. It's even more unfortunate when those same leaders actively espouse rhetoric that inflames views and actions of bias, bullying, and racism.
So where to go from here? In a utopian universe, the aberrant leader is ousted by a shining knight on a white horse and the kingdom becomes whole and peaceful. However, just because I started this blog in fairytale form does not mean that the shining knight theory is one that is applicable, or will actually happen. Here's where I get to say what I actually think (it's a blog, so I get to do so).
What this country needs is people working and taking care of their families. This country needs common courtesy, empathetic citizens, and common sense. It does not need egotistical leaders, hateful rhetoric, and unintelligent accusations from those in positions of power that are supposed to be working for the greater good of its population.
I hate to use a movie line here here, but there's a line from "The American President" that this situation that keeps bringing to mind. "America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've gotta want it bad, cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say 'You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, and who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours." America is a nation of free speech, of tolerance, of open-mindedness, and of the dream that if you work hard enough it will happen. It is not a nation of close-minded idiots, closed borders, biased rhetoric, and bullying of its citizens. Not saying that the onset of Nazi Germany is akin to Donald Trump's America, but .......... #justsaying!!
Let's finish the fairy tale, since we began it that way .... and the knights on their speckled horses shattered the wall with their mighty swords, then rode off into the sunset with their multi-nationality brides .. all of whom had jobs that were highly paid, well fed children, and a nation that they believed in!
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress
Tuesday, October 30, 2018
Good News - Why Isn't It a Viral Trend?
Monday, August 10, 2015
The Polite Bully
Do you ever feel invisible? Not literally, of course, but as if the only way that you can be seen by the world is by morphing yourself, your actions, and your attitude, into whatever those around you need in that particular moment, or, only seen as the person that you acted like prior to any level of personal growth? It's maddening, it's frustrating, and it can make you want to shriek, or go crazy in some way, or sink into any form of depression, or all of the above.
I think back to when I was a kid, attempting to determine my place in the world around me. Keep in mind, that I was raised as a Southern girl, which essentially means that I learned how to make someone feel like they were being complimented and cared for while I was telling them off, at a fairly young age. If that sounds wrong or confusing, don't worry, it is for those of us that were raised that way too! Always smile, always be pleasant, whether you're shaking someone's hand, or cursing them out. No wonder therapists have such a solid business ... instead of saying what we truly think and acting in the manner that corresponds, we've been trained to articulate and act in ways that are opposite to what we really think and feel!
Which brings me to my point, we preach to kids to "stop the bullying", but as adults, we engage in exactly that, on a daily basis. Lawyers push their clients and badger their opponents, bankers do the same with finances, salespeople do it with whomever steps into their establishment and looks mildly interested, teachers do so upon occasion in an effort to meld the minds of their students, even as parents we tend to engage in those same narrow-minded tactics to attempt to ensure our children grow up with a similar mindset to ours ... all in the name of "what's right" or "what's best". Why? What's so wrong with people growing, changing, learning, morphing, becoming their own individualistic persons with their own individualistic thoughts and feelings, and having the ability to show those feelings in a way that corresponds appropriately to their verbalization of them? What's wrong with not just giving speaking time to the adage "people change", but actively accepting that they do and letting what is in the past stay in the past, not using it as a judgement tactic in the present? What's wrong with allowing everyone to be exactly who they are and to feel whatever they feel in the immediate moment that it occurs? No judgment, no recriminations, no preconceptions, simply acceptance and a knowledge that even if we don't truly understand or agree, that we can appreciate and empathize with their feelings and points of view.
Honestly, as far as I can tell, the only way that bullying with children will completely cease, is if the adults stop doing it to each other, and ourselves, first.
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress
Saturday, August 9, 2014
The Demise of Self-Doubt?
There comes a time in life when standing up for yourself is the only option. Actually, there's probably many times in life of this nature, but for some reason many of us seem to skirt the issue and try to placate or "make nice" instead of meeting it head on. Meeting such issues head on can be extremely daunting. Even the thought of doing so can bring up feelings of guilt from concern for other's feelings, self-doubt from actually standing up for yourself if you're not the type of person that does such a thing very often, worry for the ripple effect of ramifications that might occur .... in essence, over thinking every nuance instead of just taking a deep breath and announcing "I will not be bullied any longer!" If you're dealing with an ex or a family member, the second guessing of yourself can become extremely harsh. Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we acquiesce to what we know is not right for us, just to keep the peace? What is it that causes us to not only be our own worst critic, but to take those internal criticisms so to heart, that we freeze instead of standing up to the people in our lives who attempt to judge, control, and overtake it for their own agenda? Why does being our own worst critic seem to culminate in the creation of ourselves as our own worst enemy?
Personally, I've had multiple opportunities to stand up for myself in my life. Many, I didn't take advantage of simply out of fear for one reason or another. Lately, when those opportunities have presented themselves, I have taken advantage of them. Stood up for myself, and my beliefs. Then, unfortunately, I end up with more fear, feelings of guilt for possibly making a situation more volitile (even though that may not be the case), worry and dread over the possible responses or repercussions ... but somewhere, deep down inside, is a small, glimmering light of pride and hope. Actually being proud of myself for not allowing someone to push me around, and hope that my words and actions will result in something better going forward. The fear is larger and stronger than that small, glimmering light, but using every ounce of my being to focus on that little light instead of the fear, helps me to realize that there is, in fact, hope for a better day tomorrow.
Tomorrow is a new day with endless possibilities. Don't let today's issues cause you to miss out on it.
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress
Sunday, July 6, 2014
A Vent Session
Okay, my lovely, wonderful readers. I know it's not the norm for me, but i need to have a little vent. I apologize in advance.
WHY are there people in this world who actively and on purpose gain happiness from the misery of others that they cause?! I do not understand the need to wreak havoc in someone else's life simply to make one's own life feel more fulfilled and valid. I do not understand the inability to "live and let live". Most of all, I do not understand the cockamamy, beauracratical, biased to those who operate in the theoretical "legal community" where Who you know shows to be more important than actual legality, legal system! I am OVER egotistical, self-important, lawyers .... I am OVER this system that allows for judges to rule on cases when they haven't heard both sides of the story ... I am OVER the ridiculous amount of money required to fight or bring Anything to court. It's bullsh*t!
I am tired of the egotistical, self-righteous, underhanded, legal maneuvering of the female (dare she be referred to as human) that is my boyfriend's ex-wife.
I am appalled at the level of stress this "woman" causes in our personal life due to the level of stress and subsequent physical duress that her antics create.
I am OVER the bullying nonsense that my ex-husband utilizes in an effort to control and undermine me, just like he did when we were married.
I am OVER the fact that his bullying includes constant attempts to control my daily life outside of contact with our son, as I am attempting to do what's right and better myself daily.
It is affecting me in horrible ways, but even worse, it's affecting the wonderful, funny, caring, sweet and romantic, truly fantastic person who is my parter in life.
No attempt to be supportive, or understanding, or empathic, or sympathetic is met with anything but despondency, as he is a Good Man that has been pushed over the edge by constant worry over what's best for everyone else in his life, and the constant stress and malarkey created by those who use the legal system as their First resort instead of their Last.
Hate is a terrible thing to be avoided. Yet how can one avoid it and move forward in life if the other party or parties keep pushing the limits? It's unfair, unjust, not right, and unequivocally WRONG.
I am now finished venting. SOS for positive thoughts, karma, and prayers Fast!
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress
Tuesday, July 1, 2014
The Humanity of Give Versus Take
A neighbor of mine said the other day, "there are givers and takers in this world ... unfortunately, the givers usually end up getting screwed," I agree with him .. for the most part.
Those who are the "takers" spend their lives expecting everyone to do what they want, give in to their needs ... essentially bow to them and their every whim. They use multiple forms of persuasion, tactics that smack of under-handedness, and any con artist move they can, legal or non, to achieve whatever their ultimate goal is. It's actually a truly pitiful existence. To only be able to take without experiencing the joy of giving.
Those who are "givers" get the opportunity to experience and appreciate the smiles and pure joy on someone's face when they create a token of words or gifts or actions that require no return of actions or strings attached. They feel happy by doing such things. They don't need hurrahs or accolades, they just do these things for others because it should be done out of pure respect for humanity. They're content to do so, and don't think about "what's in it for them" in the process.
The "givers" versus the "takers". Most of us have a little of both in us. While I truly believe that both Yin and Yang, light and darkness, is in each of us, and that one cannot exist without the other, I also believe that the "givers", regardless of getting trod upon, live happier lives than the "takers". While unfair pain may be experienced at times, the reward of life's little things, like a child's smile, a friend in need's hug, a loved one's kiss, the total body wagging of a pet greeting you just because you showed up, unexpected laughter, ultimate trust ... these are things that can never be truly known or appreciated by the "takers".
It's to be pitied, actually. The sad fact is that there are people out there who view themselves as so entitled, so above the echelon, so above reproach, that in their quest for the perfect life they end up living the lives that are more miserable than most. How sad is that?!
Gandhi said that "You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean become dirty, the ocean does not become dirty." Well said, Sir! I pity those that can only take and not give, can only hurt and not help, can only think of themselves and not others. I truly believe, though, that that Yin, that light as opposed to dark is somewhere deep in all of us. Hopefully someday those people will find it in themselves and no longer wreak the havoc that creates a negative ripple effect doomed to surround them. Poor, misguided humans.
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress
Monday, May 26, 2014
The Infallible Certainty of Humanity
People. We're all human. We all have our own issues and problems and insecurities regarding ourselves and others. We all succumb to worry, fear, sadness, stress, and even occasional panic or paranoia at various times in our lives. We all make decisions, both intelligent and not so intelligent, and pay the price in some way for the not so bright ones. Remembering that, and having others in our lives that we can count on to be there as a shoulder when we're down, help us up when we've been hurt, and trust when we need to vent out anything .. and knowing that those people can be truly trusted to keep our private worries to themselves without turning that information into any form of gossip, vicious or non, is an immensely important part of every one of us staying sane. Those types of family and friends are of the utmost high value.
There will always be those in our lives who judge without proof. There will always be those who jump to conclusions and turn those conclusions into accusations or gossip. There will always be those who, well, surprise you in the most unfortunate and disheartening ways that cause additional frustration, doubt in your own abilities, and, at worst, break your heart with their actions and reactions.
We are ALL human, and humans are infallible. Everyone of us is. Passing judgment, turning suspicion into gossip, and utilizing hypocrisy in conversation or actions is much like becoming the playground bully who takes the little kids' lunch money.
There's an old adage that talks about "killing them with kindness". No matter what the situation, I find that to be the best response. The only one you can truly count on to be okay with what you see in the mirror at the end of each day is Yourself .. and knowing that you took that higher road without gossip, without judgment based in pure suspicion, and without hypocrisy, is ultimately the only way any of us will be able to live with ourselves on a daily basis.
Things to remember as we trudge forward in life.
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Awareness
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Bullying By Example
Bullying. There's a large movement to increase awareness & prevent bullying with kids & adolescents. I agree with it wholeheartedly. Children, however, tend to learn most effectively by example. Let's face it. The examples being set by the grownups in society are not exactly stellar in the effort against bullying. Give those tactics a different name, & all of a sudden it's okay & accepted. Not exactly conducive to learning by example.
Many managers & executives in the business arena govern their employees with threats, ultimatums, & constant micromanagement fear of pay cuts or job loss. This is usually known as "management styles" or "business tactics".
Some lawyers, aka "Ambulance Chasers", make their living seeking out clients for lawsuits of any kind in an effort to exhort money, create mistrust, & dissolve relationships, while divorcing spouses & their lawyers use everything from past settled arguments to threats of withholding property and, at most damaging, the children themselves, in an attempt to achieve each of their outcomes, without thought for the cost to others involved. This tends to be referred to as "the Justice System".
The salesman that pressures customers to purchase that which they may not really need or want (Sales Tactics). The governments that sanction or retaliate against other governments for not operating the same as their own (International Policy). The religious groups that condone violence against others due to a difference in beliefs or ways of living (Religious Right). No matter how it's spun, these are examples of bullying at the grownup level.
Now think about how all of the aforementioned appears to a child. If the supposed adults in charge use pressure, coercion, & threats in a variety of forms to achieve their goals daily, what should we really expect them to take away from those examples? What are they truly learning by example? It would seem, until the grownups figure out how to conduct themselves in a more accepting, empathetic, less subversive manner, the problem of childhood bullying will continue to be an issue across the board.
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress