Once Upon A Time, There Was A Wall

Once upon a time there was a wall. It divided the areas of East Berlin from West Berlin in an effort to stem the population of communist East Germany from migrating to the democratic capitalist side of West Germany. When it was erected it divided not only political sides, but also friends, families, and world attitudes. It was the ultimate barrier to the overall peace and unity of a single country .. until it was torn down. That wall itself was the epitome of a symbol of the Cold War. The act of tearing it down was one of the most shining moments of world peace and solidarity that any nation has ever accomplished. Are we doomed to repeat history?

Donald Trump has taken the U.S. Presidency to a new level of demented millennialism. The first president to have zero political background, the first president to consistently tweet his personal Twitter account without thought for repercussions or his administration. In some ways it could be viewed as awkwardly admirable. This man took office with a mindset to treat the country like a corporation and right the U.S. economy as such. His tactics, however, are some of the most abysmal the world has seen since Hitler promised Germany jobs and economic fixes after the Great Depression.

Hitler blamed economic downfall and socioeconomic issues on the Jewish population. At that time in history, the world had just come out of the hell of WWI, and was on the tail end of a worldwide economic depression. It wasn't difficult for someone with a semblance of oratory skill to convince a terrified country's population that there were a specific group of people that were to blame for their financial woes, no matter how misguided the accusations. The terrified, the scared, the misguided; those were the people who voted Hitler into office and blindly followed his directives which ultimately resulted in the most horrific wartime atrocities the world has ever seen.

Fast forward to the internet age. What do you get when you place a silver spoon kid turned real estate mogul and egotistical narcissist into the White House? You get a similar result. A population on the tail end of recession desperate for relief, despite the efforts of previous administrations. A glimmer of light opening for a wide variety of right wing fringe sects to actively espouse their beliefs; their flames fanned by the incinerating rhetoric of a man who has never known a day of hunger or basic need in his entire life.

The wall that Trump wants to build, that he is essentially holding the U.S. hostage to build, is the same type of symptomatic governmental narcissism as the wall the post WWII Germany built. Not only are his tactics holding the U.S. hostage in the realm of government, but they're putting the entire world at risk in multiple areas like aviation safety, agriculture, military assistance, and even the borders that he claims to hold so dear. Those who count on government assistance or government based jobs to feed their families can kiss that goodbye.  Apparently this wall, that makes the United States appear more like a scene from "A Handmaiden's Tale," is far more important than the needs of anything else in the nation.

It is incredibly unfortunate when world leaders take their own personal egos and views, and make them more important on the political and humanitarian front than the needs of the population. It's even more unfortunate when those same leaders actively espouse rhetoric that inflames views and actions of bias, bullying, and racism.

So where to go from here? In a utopian universe, the aberrant leader is ousted by a shining knight on a white horse and the kingdom becomes whole and peaceful. However, just because I started this blog in fairytale form does not mean that the shining knight theory is one that is applicable, or will actually happen. Here's where I get to say what I actually think (it's a blog, so I get to do so).

What this country needs is people working and taking care of their families. This country needs common courtesy, empathetic citizens, and common sense. It does not need egotistical leaders, hateful rhetoric, and unintelligent accusations from those in positions of power that are supposed to be working for the greater good of its population.

I hate to use a movie line here here, but there's a line from "The American President" that this situation that keeps bringing to mind. "America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've gotta want it bad, cause it's gonna put up a fight. It's gonna say 'You want free speech? Let's see you acknowledge a man whose words make your blood boil, and who's standing center stage and advocating at the top of his lungs that which you would spend a lifetime opposing at the top of yours."  America is a nation of free speech, of tolerance, of open-mindedness, and of the dream that if you work hard enough it will happen. It is not a nation of close-minded idiots, closed borders, biased rhetoric, and bullying of its citizens. Not saying that the onset of Nazi Germany is akin to Donald Trump's America, but .......... #justsaying!!

Let's finish the fairy tale, since we began it that way .... and the knights on their speckled horses shattered the wall with their mighty swords, then rode off into the sunset with their multi-nationality brides .. all of whom had jobs that were highly paid, well fed children, and a nation that they believed in!


~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

The Output of Fire

Fire is one of the most therapeutic, fantastic, inspiring elements on the planet (to me).  It provides warmth, light, positiveness, and burns away that which we choose to no longer hold onto.  How awesome is that?!

We sat out by our fire-pit for a couple hours tonight ... so relaxing and lovely.  There is truly something about sitting beside a live fire (not the "fake" gas enabled ones) that simply calms one's senses,  The warmth, the solidness of the logs, the disintegration of anything you happen to throw into it, the beauty of the flames and the glowing embers.  It is truly an organic beauty of an experience.

In work, in school, in family dynamics, in life, are we not similar to the embers and the flames?  There are many moments that any of us is "smoldering" ... figuring things out but not yet ready to let loose.  Then there's the "glowing". So many people "glow" in society but may not realize that they are "warming" those around them.  How unfortunate that they don't realize their worth with regards to everyone they encounter.

The loveliness of the fire and the logs, the dancing flames randomly working themselves through the barriers that might otherwise keep them from the air, which makes those flames further reaching.  How many of us are filled with "fire" to accomplish something, be it a task or job or goal, but in order to achieve that which we desire we must randomly work our way through multiple barriers?  I know it happens to me.  I also know that those dancing, frolicking, colorful flames are similar to the alternative arenas in which I tend to look for "the way through" .... is that true for anyone else?  Is how we look to find a way through situations that may challenge us or stress us indicative of our own colorful personalities?

What about the smoke that rises like ghosts out of what is being disintegrated from something like a fire-pit? What if we took the potential energy of the embers and combined it with the expending energy of the smoke ghosts?  Would it create something unworldly in our minds or imaginations?  Would any of us have the courage to act upon it?

As far as I can see, it's all subjective. Everything in this world is how one actively chooses to view things.  A rainy day can be viewed as a deterrent, or an opportunity to meander in the rain while playing like a happy child in the puddles ... a social media comment that denotes something that goes completely against everything you hold dear can be viewed as a depressant that keeps you up all night, or a challenge to be the better person that helps you look yourself in the mirror each morning ... a voice mail or text or letter that says derogatory things can either cause you to believe you're not good enough, or something that lights those embers underneath you to start a fire flame that simply burns with warmth toward humankind and refuses to put forth ghosts of smoke to blind others in its path.

Isn't it, essentially, up to each and every one of us to determine our reactions to every situation?

Simply my thoughts as I stare at the lovely, warm disintegrating embers of this fire that I enjoyed for most of the evening.  Feel free to come to your own conclusions.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Facets of Complication

Complicated.  The word encompasses so many areas of life.  From description of WHO we individually are, to HOW we individually act and react, to circumstances in general.  Looking inside yourself, however, is the most complicated thing of all.  Why do I do the things that I do?  Why do I make the decisions that I make?  Why do I react the way that I react?  Why do I act the way that I act?  Talk about complicated ...... the most complicated of all, however, seems to be the understanding and melding of different ideologies, actions, reactions, and ways of dealing with situations in a relationship.  Take two humans who share a romantic passionate connection, then attempt to achieve understanding from each to the other of how that person thinks, acts and reacts in any given situation, and have each accept the differences without getting their own feelings hurt in some way .... equals in complicated WORK from both parties.

Why are relationships so much work?

In truth, we can think that we are making every effort to be upfront, honest, flexible and understanding in any relationship, but if the other party communicates and/or thinks in a different way, they may not feel that we are putting forth any effort at all.  The delicate balance between what we think and feel we're putting forth regarding effort vs. what someone else thinks or feels we or they are putting forth, vs. the overarching looking at the equation from the outside .... well, things are never quite what they seem in our own heads.  While relationships of all types do require effort, I'm learning that the most important part of that is that all parties put in the effort and that it is recognized by all parties involved.  If it's not recognized that the effort is being made on all fronts ... well, let's just say that it's a recipe for hurt feelings and relationship disaster on every front.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Learning to Dance in the Rain

There's a saying that I've been thinking of lately: "Life isn't just about learning to weather the storms.  It's about learning to dance in the rain."  The more I think about that adage, the more it seems to make sense. The general advice given by well-meaning friends and family to someone going through rough times is to "stay strong", or "chin up", or "nothing lasts forever".  They want us to be the happy, positive person that they know we can be, as opposed to the sad, depressed, upset, wallowing mess that we become under intense circumstancial duress.

There's a scene in the movie Forrest Gump where the character Lieutenant Dan is in the crow's nest of the shrimp boat during a hurricane.  He's screaming at the storm, laughing at the storm, defying the intensity of the storm that would cause most of us to run for cover or cower in fear.  Now that may not be "dancing in the rain" ala Gene Kelly, but in my book it's similar.  Dancing seems to be a subjective verb that's open to interpretation.

Sometimes the "storms" in life aren't so much huge hurricanes that arrive, end, and leave us to make sense of the levels of perceived disaster left in their wake.  Sometimes the "storms" are seemingly constant squalls that feel like they're beginning to let up & give us some peace, but then another one hits, and another, and another, so that it doesn't ever seem that we're given a chance to truly breathe and move beyond the pain of the ones before.  To truly begin to enjoy that sunshine and calm that happens after an intense storm.  In the movie, Forrest and Lieutenant Dan are catapulted into a successful business thanks to that hurricane and their tenacity in not going back to port to hide from it.  It's not so simple to find the proverbial rainbow after the weathering of, or "dancing" in the rain of all of life's storms.  When it seems that everytime you find the strength to begin to get back up and put a smile on your face to handle life, another one hits to knock you back to your knees .... well, those rainbows don't appear through the clouds in a very apparent fashion. 

The thing about it is, all of those moments of circumstancial duress are not always random storms that appear and wreak havoc without our input.  Ultimately, our own decisions bring us to find almost every so-called storm.  Some of them are simply life passage storms, like the death of someone we chose to love, the breakup of a relationship we chose to be in, the leaving home of a child we chose to have.  Those seem intensely sad while going through, but the rainbows afterwards are easy to discern when we eventually look for them.  Some of them are more definitively our own doing in bringing the onset of, like financial issues or legal trouble.  Some of them, while ultimately tracing back to decisions we've made, aren't as easy to admit they're at least partially of our own making, like recovering from various diseases or addictions or injuries ..... so the "dancing" could really be confronting and embracing the pain in whatever form.  Not just cowering from it or attempting to ignore it until it's buried so deep it feels like it's gone, but truly facing it head on and embracing its existence so that it can ultimately be understood and moved beyond.  Dancing in the rain, embracing the rain, understanding the rain, accepting the rain ...... moving beyond the rain.  Synonyms?  Maybe if we didn't pigeonhole the verb dancing, the rainbows, or at least a bit of sunshine, would be easier to find in life.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

It's the holiday season (the holiday season) ..

Winter Solstice, Festival of Lights, Christmas, Hannaukah, Kwaanza .... there really is no picture perfect name stamp to put on this time of year. Doesn't matter where in the world you are, there are festive lights & holiday gatherings .... gift giving and creation of at least one 24 hours worth of peace with those that one would not normally. So why is it that so many people find this time of year to be sad, lonely & frustrating? Maybe it's the media influence that projects images of loving couples and perfect families with Walgreen perfect lives, homes and standards of living. Maybe it's the preconceived notion that we all should be happier when we see the pretty decorative lights and hear the holiday songs. Somehow, the images, the lights, the songs, the preconceived notions ... they (for some) tend to backfire. Instead of thinking "Wow! That diamond bracelet would be a stellar idea for my sweetie!", the thought of "Damn! Here comes another holiday where, when that special hour occurs, I will yet again be alone.", or under the current economy, "That was a fantastic idea last year, but now I wonder if I had saved that money would I be able to purchase gifts for my children?" Personally, I was lucky enough to be heading the "Angel Tree" front at my office this year. Please understand, the office I work in is quite small, but between the 10 of us we were able to support 2 of the "Angels" from the tree and purchase almost everything on their lists for only $10 apeice. Somehow, shopping for simple things that most of us take for granted, plus a couple of things that just bring stars to kids' eyes, brought about more holiday spirit than any ornament, any song, any light showcase, or preconceived notion could ever evoke. So to all the people out there that may be in dire straits, to all those who are pining for a lost love or loved one, to all those who have simply lost the Spirit of the Holiday, I say to you, go give of yourself without reason or accord or thought for repayment. Go give of yourself with total abandonment in whatever realm suits you. It is there that you will find the true meaning and happiness of the season.