Complicated. The word encompasses so many areas of life. From description of WHO we individually are, to HOW we individually act and react, to circumstances in general. Looking inside yourself, however, is the most complicated thing of all. Why do I do the things that I do? Why do I make the decisions that I make? Why do I react the way that I react? Why do I act the way that I act? Talk about complicated ...... the most complicated of all, however, seems to be the understanding and melding of different ideologies, actions, reactions, and ways of dealing with situations in a relationship. Take two humans who share a romantic passionate connection, then attempt to achieve understanding from each to the other of how that person thinks, acts and reacts in any given situation, and have each accept the differences without getting their own feelings hurt in some way .... equals in complicated WORK from both parties.
Why are relationships so much work?
In truth, we can think that we are making every effort to be upfront, honest, flexible and understanding in any relationship, but if the other party communicates and/or thinks in a different way, they may not feel that we are putting forth any effort at all. The delicate balance between what we think and feel we're putting forth regarding effort vs. what someone else thinks or feels we or they are putting forth, vs. the overarching looking at the equation from the outside .... well, things are never quite what they seem in our own heads. While relationships of all types do require effort, I'm learning that the most important part of that is that all parties put in the effort and that it is recognized by all parties involved. If it's not recognized that the effort is being made on all fronts ... well, let's just say that it's a recipe for hurt feelings and relationship disaster on every front.
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress
Why are relationships so much work?
In truth, we can think that we are making every effort to be upfront, honest, flexible and understanding in any relationship, but if the other party communicates and/or thinks in a different way, they may not feel that we are putting forth any effort at all. The delicate balance between what we think and feel we're putting forth regarding effort vs. what someone else thinks or feels we or they are putting forth, vs. the overarching looking at the equation from the outside .... well, things are never quite what they seem in our own heads. While relationships of all types do require effort, I'm learning that the most important part of that is that all parties put in the effort and that it is recognized by all parties involved. If it's not recognized that the effort is being made on all fronts ... well, let's just say that it's a recipe for hurt feelings and relationship disaster on every front.
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress
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