Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Lessons Pondered & (Hopefully) Learned

The prospect of a new year brings everything from reflection, to excitement, to solace, to sometimes even a bit of melancholy.  So many moments happen over the course of 365 days on Earth, both personally and globally, that it's impossible not to ponder at least a smidgen. Reflection is not a bad thing. It allows us to view that which is past, find, then learn from any lesson that can be ascertained from any situation.  Personally, via such reflection, I have learned a few lessons that I want to share ....

Actually Trust Your Own Instincts. 
We second guess ourselves constantly. (I know I tend to!) Whether it's how to word a sentence to an aqaintance that asks our opinion, or what to wear, who to vote for, what to order off a menu .... decisions are a constant life experience. Theoretically, our decisions begat the next event. If it feels wrong, or prickly, or just not correct for you yourself, it's your instinct telling you not to go there. Don't. It will be regretted.

Just Because Someone Else Is Conducting Themselves In A Negative Or Abusive Manner Does Not Mean You Have To Act Or Think In The Same Manner.
We all come upon this. Whether it's through work, or school, or simply daily life, it happens. It's disappointing, annoying,  stressful, & just plain exhausting. It's also not good for you. Not for your blood pressure, your heart rate, your outlook on life, your stress level, or, most importantly, your sanity. If they want to be that miserable, that's their problem. It does not have to become yours.  Just say No.

Embrace Anything That Is Positive Or Happy Wholeheartedly.
So many times we get so caught up in the mundane existence that is daily life, that when small, cute, or funny things happen we overlook them. It's the little things that can make the day, and our outlook, so much more fantastic. Laughing at the joyous antics of a small child in the park, appreciating the assistance of the person who bags your groceries at the supermarket, a hug from a friend, the sight of a smile on the face of someone you love for any reason, the feel of warm sun on your face, when you cook & someone else cleans the kitchen without being asked, the sight of holiday lights as you journey down a street, your favorite song randomly playing on the radio ... those are the things that can make the difference between "a great day", & "today was okay".  Allow yourself to recognize & embrace them!

Setbacks are not necessarily negative.
From setbacks in jobs or school, to those in our personal life, they usually are simply creating the room for better opportunities to occur ... if only we choose to look for and act upon them. Stressing out & focusing on the setback itself,  whatever it may be, is a useless waste of perfectly good energy. Focus on the positive possibilities!

Be Grateful On A Regular Basis.
Yes, you may be running low on gas or groceries & funds all at the same time, but someone whose only "home" is the free shelter would probably give their arm to trade places with you. Yes, you might be missing that outing you really looked forward to because you got sick, or you could be annoyed or bored because you really wanted to watch or read or take part in something that's been thwarted beyond your control. I guarantee there's someone out there who is sick, or injured, or thousands of miles from those most important to them who would gladly trade places with you. Is it really so bad that no one else on the planet has it worse? Think about it.

Here's to hoping that everyone reading this is inspired to think through their own "lessons" from 2013. Happy New Year!

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Sunday, December 15, 2013

Tis the season for ....

Tis the season for all sorts of things that don't end up in holiday songs. Holidays, by definition, are supposed to be joyous happy occasions. Not everyone feels the spirit of the season in that manner... which bites. For some,  the previous loss of a loved one brings feelings of melancholy. For some, the regrets of years past cause introspective sadness. For others, the misunderstood and/or selfish actions of others causes deep distress over what they dreamed the holidays would be.

It doesn't have to be that way. The moment taken to smile at a grumpy stranger ... the act of paying for coffee or lunch for someone fumbling for change in their pockets ... the anonymous purchase of a gift for a child who might not get one otherwise ... the hug given to an acquaintance who is having a harsh day ... the simple joy of viewing holiday lights & decorations ... taking a moment to focus more on these small things that are about someone other than ourselves can help remind us of the happiness that can be found in this sometimes difficult season.

I wish for you joy, happiness, peace, & feelings of love & thankfulness. Just remember,  they're not necessarily found by looking inward.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress