Lessons Pondered & (Hopefully) Learned

The prospect of a new year brings everything from reflection, to excitement, to solace, to sometimes even a bit of melancholy.  So many moments happen over the course of 365 days on Earth, both personally and globally, that it's impossible not to ponder at least a smidgen. Reflection is not a bad thing. It allows us to view that which is past, find, then learn from any lesson that can be ascertained from any situation.  Personally, via such reflection, I have learned a few lessons that I want to share ....

Actually Trust Your Own Instincts. 
We second guess ourselves constantly. (I know I tend to!) Whether it's how to word a sentence to an aqaintance that asks our opinion, or what to wear, who to vote for, what to order off a menu .... decisions are a constant life experience. Theoretically, our decisions begat the next event. If it feels wrong, or prickly, or just not correct for you yourself, it's your instinct telling you not to go there. Don't. It will be regretted.

Just Because Someone Else Is Conducting Themselves In A Negative Or Abusive Manner Does Not Mean You Have To Act Or Think In The Same Manner.
We all come upon this. Whether it's through work, or school, or simply daily life, it happens. It's disappointing, annoying,  stressful, & just plain exhausting. It's also not good for you. Not for your blood pressure, your heart rate, your outlook on life, your stress level, or, most importantly, your sanity. If they want to be that miserable, that's their problem. It does not have to become yours.  Just say No.

Embrace Anything That Is Positive Or Happy Wholeheartedly.
So many times we get so caught up in the mundane existence that is daily life, that when small, cute, or funny things happen we overlook them. It's the little things that can make the day, and our outlook, so much more fantastic. Laughing at the joyous antics of a small child in the park, appreciating the assistance of the person who bags your groceries at the supermarket, a hug from a friend, the sight of a smile on the face of someone you love for any reason, the feel of warm sun on your face, when you cook & someone else cleans the kitchen without being asked, the sight of holiday lights as you journey down a street, your favorite song randomly playing on the radio ... those are the things that can make the difference between "a great day", & "today was okay".  Allow yourself to recognize & embrace them!

Setbacks are not necessarily negative.
From setbacks in jobs or school, to those in our personal life, they usually are simply creating the room for better opportunities to occur ... if only we choose to look for and act upon them. Stressing out & focusing on the setback itself,  whatever it may be, is a useless waste of perfectly good energy. Focus on the positive possibilities!

Be Grateful On A Regular Basis.
Yes, you may be running low on gas or groceries & funds all at the same time, but someone whose only "home" is the free shelter would probably give their arm to trade places with you. Yes, you might be missing that outing you really looked forward to because you got sick, or you could be annoyed or bored because you really wanted to watch or read or take part in something that's been thwarted beyond your control. I guarantee there's someone out there who is sick, or injured, or thousands of miles from those most important to them who would gladly trade places with you. Is it really so bad that no one else on the planet has it worse? Think about it.

Here's to hoping that everyone reading this is inspired to think through their own "lessons" from 2013. Happy New Year!

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Assessments of the New

There are certain times in life that cause us to assess and / or reassess everything around us.  To take a good long hard look at ourselves, our surroundings, and the choices that we may or may not even realize we're making on a daily basis.  Some are drawn to do this at the start of a new year, some find themselves doing so after a crisis, others simply arise one morning with a newly awakened determination to create change in their world.  Nothing is impossible.

The kicker is this... change is scary & uncomfortable at the outset.  It's probably the reason so many of us end up reverting to our previous ways that we sought to change in the first place.  Even if those thoughts, those habits, those daily choices were not ultimately in our best interests, they were what we knew & used & felt a modicum of confidence through, even if their end result created less than positive circumstances. Like a fuzzy old tattered blanket, we became accustomed to the not so stellar end results as well. Changing those thoughts, habits, and daily choices creates not only a level of reaching beyond our comfort zone via the process, it causes new end results that we must learn to embrace too! 

My point is this, without reaching beyond our comfort zones, without striving to better ourselves, without continuing to push past the bounds of our standard actions and reactions, we stagnate.  We quit growing, and evolving, and miss out on many of the most spectacular people and experiences that life has the potential to offer us. I say this because I recently have been striving toward these changes in multiple areas. It's not easy to let go of the old, but the further I immerse myself in the new, I find that it's an unaccustomed feeling of calm, positive, sheer happiness that I'd really like to get used to!  It's a little uncomfortable experiencing all these new feelings and possibilities, but I'm learning to be okay with that aspect. My hope for anyone reading this is that you'll close your eyes, take a deep breath, and take that leap in whatever direction is a new start ... just to try.

~ The Girl in the Little Black Dress