Life as a Philosophical Seussism

Dr. Seuss was a Master Philosopher.  I firmly believe this.  All you have to do is read even slightly between the lines of his, on the surface, nonsensical writing style, or take a look at any of his many famous quotes, and the truth is absolutely there.

Consider the quote, "Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple."  While I feel like I need to write this as a reminder at the top of every physics exam page, it is also quite true for most of life.  We overthink, and stress about, and complicate so much of our daily occurrences. If we were to, instead, take a deep breath, step back, and truly look at the entire picture, then focus on the solution, might not the best answer be the simplist one possible?

What about the phrase from One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish? "From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!"  No.  Joke.  From children, to pets, to random humans in the grocery or on the street, to the silly stupid jokes shared with those closest to you, there is almost always something out there to laugh at .... including yourself!

Another, would be from The Lorax, "It's not about what it is, it's about what it can become."  This one I believe to be true for both good and bad, positive and negative, truths and lies, and everything in-between.  Think about it.  All things are what they are, and are exactly what they are in the way that one sees, interprets, and applies them.  They begin as they exactly are, and become whatever we turn them into.  Ponder that one.

The quote that I deep down believe was a political statement (well hidden) is from The Cat In The Hat.  "And this mess is so big, and so deep and so tall, we cannot pick it up, there is no way at all!"  That one, politically, speaks for itself (in my opinion).

My personal favorite, that I tend to revert to like a mantra whenever I'm stressed out or hurt by other people in life is a quote that's not from one of his books.  It goes like this, "I've heard there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead, some come from behind. But I've bought a big bat, I'm all ready, you see.  Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me!"  Best.  Empowering.  Quote.  Ever.

There are literally THOUSANDS of quotes and passages from Dr. Suess's books and lifetime that would apply to my life, your life, and the life of everyone and everything on this planet in almost any situation or scenario.  Here is a link if you want to look at more of them: http://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/61105.Dr_Seuss

Until next time, try to remember as you go forward in your day the immortal, philosophical words "So be sure when you step, Step with care and great tact. And remember that life's A Great Balancing Act. And will you succeed? Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed)"


~ The Girl In The LIttle Black Dress (with assistance from Dr. Seuss)

Sometimes "Everything" is an adage

As many of you who read my blogs may have noticed, I've had an emotional couple weeks. While yes, I do tend to write in generalities, I do actually write from life experiences ... mainly to refocus my brain in a more positive manner!

There are so many events and situations that have occurred over these past few weeks, I feel like I'm spinning in a never ending emotional tornado at times.

My boyfriend made a comment the other day regarding stresses of his own, "I know all of this is supposedly happening for a reason or lesson. How do I determine what that is?!" That, is the ultimate question for which there is no clear answer. Some people say "that which doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Others say "it takes a truly strong person to cry, to let things out, and to attempt to move forward with life." Still others say "You're only as strong as you choose to allow yourself to be," and even other people say "you make the bed, you gotta lie in it!" After much thought, introspection, and consideration, I believe a combination of all these to be true. Allow me to explain ....

While everything we do in life is, in reality, an active choice we make at that time, and how we choose to handle the repercussions or glories of those choices are no one's responsibility but our own, there are many situations in life that occur completely out of our control. Some are great, some are horrid, some are euphoric, and some resemble the depths of hell. I said in a previous blog that it was told to me that our Feelings are never wrong, our Actions resulting from and our Reactions to those feelings are what make the difference.

Personally, I've made some really stupid, horrible decisions in life, but I've made some incredibly fantastic, fabulous ones too. We all have. At times we all feel hopeless or hopeful, like a failure or a complete success, sad or happy, elated and ambitious or in the depths of despair.  A person pointed out to me recently "I've watched you lose everything", yet I've gained so much!  I lost my job via illness and layoff, but gained my sanity and life direction. I lost my car, but gained freedom in so many ways including walking through a park daily to get home just because it's there and I don't have the transportation crutch of a car to keep me from choosing not to. If "losing everything " is mainly to do with the things that can be bought, well, they're worth losing to make room for better, more important things.

I choose to be a mom and do the best I can for my children daily. That may not always be monetary ability, but they talk to me, we have amazing times together by mutual choice, and I try to be there for them with an open ear and open mind no matter what. I choose to live with the man that I love and adore. Every day may not be perfect bliss, but we are each others' trust, rock, and absolutely the "yin to each other's yang". I choose to be a full time student, not only to ultimately have a true career in an area I'm interested in and passionate about, but also to set the example for my kids that it's never too late to go back and complete what was started in the first place or to be what you truly should and wanted to be in the first place. I live in a place and area of this city that I love, my partner is the love of my life, I'm fascinated by what I study in school, I get paid to choreograph, dance, act, and paint ... I simply don't see the aforementioned loss of "Everything".

Recently I watched my youngest child go through "graduation" ceremonies from elementary to middle school. I cried. Yep, I did. I cried with pride for all he's accomplished, and mommy worry over all that he has yet to experience that I'll not be able to protect him from. I felt nostalgia for those moments in his childhood when he would run immediately to me if anything scary in his life occurred. My hope for him is that he learns the lessons I've learned at an earlier age than I.

In response to the original adages, if you're not physically killed by it, can find a way to get whatever "it" is out of your system through cathartic and/or positive activities, push forward to better yourself in whatever way possible, admit your faults and pay your dues for those faults if needed, treat others in the same empathic manner in which you yourself would hope to be treated, and to simply put your feet on the ground to attempt to move forward daily, there's no way that those universal reasons won't reveal themselves in due time.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Is That Light An Oncoming Train?

Over the past year or so I've had the opportunity to discover a number of things about myself & the universe in general.  I've also discovered that many adages people use to assist them with understanding life & situations are not necessarily as they seem. Humor me for a moment as I explain.....

"Bad things happen in threes". Not necessarily. First of all, if something you consider to be seriously unfortunate at the time occurs, but it ultimately leads to positive things in life & important lessons learned, then was it actually a "bad" thing in the first place? Additionally, if we walk around assuming that the "Threes Rule" is valid, then we end up creating a self-fulfilling prophecy of multiple seemingly "bad" occurrences.... due in part because we're actively looking for them!

This line of thinking obviously plays directly into the "Everything happens for a reason" adage. That does not mean that we will always like, or enjoy, or appreciate the "reason", but the reason or lesson that needs to happen will eventually show itself.  We simply have to focus on moving forward to find it & utilize it instead of wallowing in doomsday self pity that additional unfortunate events are bound to occur simply because one or two did in the first place. 

I'll give you an example.  Many of you who read my blog know that I am in recovery from Anorexia Bulimia, which I have suffered from since my teens. In early 2012 I was cited for DUI at a checkpoint, even though I knew I had only had 2 beers prior to driving home. Had that not occurred I would not have been faced with the physical ramifications of my disease, mainly that my digestive system was shutting down & therefore unable to metabolize almost anything. Had I not been forced to face that fact, I would not have been hospitalized for ED treatment, I would not have begun the long road of recovery, which ultimately caused me to lose my job from being unable to work for too many months, which caused me to reassess through recovery & return to school where I'm now working toward a degree in something that utilizes my existing skills, passions, & background, that I'm fascinated by & that will ultimately help others in the process. Had that "bad thing" not occurred, I would still be miserable, unhealthy, & probably dead.  Not that everyday is easy & perfect, but I'm actively learning & now continuing to recover, which is the polar opposite of the life death spiral I was on before.  I realize that's an extremely simplistic version of a major ripple effect event, but viewing it in that manner helps me continue to attempt to stay on track toward positive things, as opposed to focusing on negative, dark places that could or could not occur because of it. 

Truthfully, this also leads directly into the adage "The universe will never give you more than you can handle".  Ultimately I believe that to be true, but that does not mean it feels that way while you're dealing with everything life throws at you! Looking back you may wonder, how on earth you pulled it off and came out standing, but we do actually end up handling that which is "thrown" at us. Focusing on moving forward, finding a way, & learning those lessons is the best any of us can do.

I'll leave you with a thought. The proverbial "Light at the end of the tunnel" that we all search for during difficult times ... it could be the opening on the other side to happier times & better things, it could be someone coming towards you with a lantern that assists you, or it could be an oncoming train. Your choices then become: exiting the tunnel, accepting the assistance to shed light on your path forward, rejecting the assistance & continuing to trudge through the dark, staying on the track & getting hit by the train, or jumping out of the way to keep moving forward.  It's up to each of us to choose.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Blips On The Radar

I began writing a vent blog last night out of sheer frustration ... threw it out this morning.  The benefits from a solid night's sleep are amazing.  While the situation in question is still one of immense frustration and annoyance, looking at it through well rested eyes after a cup of great coffee allows me to put it in perspective.  Life's frustrations are simply blips on the radar.  To look at the big picture ... all the other good, positive things that are happening and I'm working on accomplishing, all of those in both the US and worldwide with major trauma and issues so infinitely greater than my own, well, those blips are just blips.  They're there, they're annoying, they can be blinding, and eventually they fade away into oblivion.  The only thing I can do is to focus on what's positive and what I can actually work toward achieving.  I am only responsible for my own actions and reactions ... how others choose to act and react is their own responsibility.  Onward and forward .. today is a fresh start for a new day!

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Seussical Outlooks

I love Dr. Seuss.  I realize that his rollicking rhymes are not for everyone over the age of 10, but I happen to be one of those overgrown kids that continues to find humor and enlightenment in his work.  There's so much real life knowledge & thoughtfulness that's hidden behind the facade of those children's rhymes.  Life is full of complicated questions, that we, as adults, tend to make even more complicated if only by our past precedents throughout life (colloquially known as "baggage").  Most things do not have to be as complicated as we make them, yet we continue to overthink and apply every school of thought imaginable in an effort to make "informed decisions".  It has begun to be more and more clear to me personally, that decisions are much better made without a perusal through every possible option or past precedent imaginable.  What if we all applied a Dr. Seuss mentality to our decisions for just one day?  Think about it ....

"Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened" - outlooks and reactions to life and its constant situational craziness would be so much more positive ...

"A person's a person, no matter how small" - no matter how small, or what gender, or what color, or what belief system, talk about erasing incredible amounts of "human-phobias" of all forms .....

"From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere" - that they are, and if we look at them and appreciate the absurdity of them, we all might be a bit more tolerant and a lot less angry ...

"He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man" - all forms of recovery, from grief and loss to addictions to disorders of any and every kind benefit from this one, I personally should remind myself of it daily, and subjecting ourselves to being any less than human simply isn't fair .....

"Today I shall behave as if this is the day I will be remembered" - if this is the day I will be remembered by, then I sure want it to be a day where I did as many positive things as possible .....

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind, some come from ahead some come from behind, but I've bought a big bat I'm all ready you see, now my troubles are going to have troubles with me" - I'd like to think of the "big bat" as theoretical, not violent actual, but you get the picture, letting the troubles take over, instead of the alternative, leads life down a much less positive, sadder road than what it could be if that "big bat" gets used on them ...

... AND FINALLY ...

"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple" - think of how much easier life would be if we focused on the simplicity of the answers instead of the complications of the questions!  Take it back to the "baggage" I referenced at the beginning of this post.  Discontinuation of utilizing said "baggage" as our main focus would make life so much simpler, so much easier, so much happier and forward thinking!  Not trying to be Pollyanna, but seriously. 
I hope that everyone reading this goes forward in their day with a little brighter outlook and a bit more "Seussical" mindset! :)


~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Learning to Dance in the Rain

There's a saying that I've been thinking of lately: "Life isn't just about learning to weather the storms.  It's about learning to dance in the rain."  The more I think about that adage, the more it seems to make sense. The general advice given by well-meaning friends and family to someone going through rough times is to "stay strong", or "chin up", or "nothing lasts forever".  They want us to be the happy, positive person that they know we can be, as opposed to the sad, depressed, upset, wallowing mess that we become under intense circumstancial duress.

There's a scene in the movie Forrest Gump where the character Lieutenant Dan is in the crow's nest of the shrimp boat during a hurricane.  He's screaming at the storm, laughing at the storm, defying the intensity of the storm that would cause most of us to run for cover or cower in fear.  Now that may not be "dancing in the rain" ala Gene Kelly, but in my book it's similar.  Dancing seems to be a subjective verb that's open to interpretation.

Sometimes the "storms" in life aren't so much huge hurricanes that arrive, end, and leave us to make sense of the levels of perceived disaster left in their wake.  Sometimes the "storms" are seemingly constant squalls that feel like they're beginning to let up & give us some peace, but then another one hits, and another, and another, so that it doesn't ever seem that we're given a chance to truly breathe and move beyond the pain of the ones before.  To truly begin to enjoy that sunshine and calm that happens after an intense storm.  In the movie, Forrest and Lieutenant Dan are catapulted into a successful business thanks to that hurricane and their tenacity in not going back to port to hide from it.  It's not so simple to find the proverbial rainbow after the weathering of, or "dancing" in the rain of all of life's storms.  When it seems that everytime you find the strength to begin to get back up and put a smile on your face to handle life, another one hits to knock you back to your knees .... well, those rainbows don't appear through the clouds in a very apparent fashion. 

The thing about it is, all of those moments of circumstancial duress are not always random storms that appear and wreak havoc without our input.  Ultimately, our own decisions bring us to find almost every so-called storm.  Some of them are simply life passage storms, like the death of someone we chose to love, the breakup of a relationship we chose to be in, the leaving home of a child we chose to have.  Those seem intensely sad while going through, but the rainbows afterwards are easy to discern when we eventually look for them.  Some of them are more definitively our own doing in bringing the onset of, like financial issues or legal trouble.  Some of them, while ultimately tracing back to decisions we've made, aren't as easy to admit they're at least partially of our own making, like recovering from various diseases or addictions or injuries ..... so the "dancing" could really be confronting and embracing the pain in whatever form.  Not just cowering from it or attempting to ignore it until it's buried so deep it feels like it's gone, but truly facing it head on and embracing its existence so that it can ultimately be understood and moved beyond.  Dancing in the rain, embracing the rain, understanding the rain, accepting the rain ...... moving beyond the rain.  Synonyms?  Maybe if we didn't pigeonhole the verb dancing, the rainbows, or at least a bit of sunshine, would be easier to find in life.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress