"Wrinkles" In Politics and Humanity

Recently, I finally got the chance to watch A Wrinkle In Time.  Don't judge.  It was one of my favorite books when I was a pre-teen.  I remember sitting in the school library, immersed in that book, thinking to myself, 'if Meg can do it, so can I!'  That book gave me confidence, courage, and hope during an extremely difficult time in my childhood.  Watching that movie brought back memories .. not all of them wonderful.  However, it also brought to light parts of the story that I had forgotten, or maybe just not understood due to my youth. Parts of the story that, I feel, are truly relevant to life and the current political climate.

For those of you unfamiliar with the basis of the story, Meg is the preteen, self-doubting heroine that travels through space and time with her genius preschool brother, and their neighborhood friend, to save their scientist father who has been missing for many years.  The pretense is that travel between far areas of the universe is, in fact, able to be done by tesseract (which is a sort of bending of time by specific vibration).  Meg's father had discovered this and accidentally gotten trapped on a dark planet, created by an evil force called 'The IT', from whence there was no seemable escape ... until his children come to save him.  Obviously, there are many more intricacies that are too numerous to go into in this blog .. (go watch the movie!) .. however, the manner in which the screenplay depicted the three muses, and their assistance tactics within the children's quest was wonderfully hopeful and enlightening for our current world.

I find it intrinsically fascinating that the name of the 'planet' created by 'The IT', is 'Camazotz'.  The planet Camazotz initially appears in the movie with a menacing growl and the far off appearance of a cancerous tumor spreading its tentacles. Interestingly enough, the name 'Camazotz' is the name of the Mayan bat god associated with darkness, death, and sacrifice.  How apropos that the core of the evil force in this tale should be named after that. 
One of the muses in A Wrinkle In Time, Mrs. Which, counsels Meg that "The only thing in the universe that travels faster than light is darkness.  It invades the place inside of us where hope and joy lives and replaces it with jealousy, judgement, pain and despair."  Additionally, she notes that, "The IT does this one person at a time .. fear takes over, fear leads to rage, then rage leads to violence."  So jealousy, judgement, pain, and despair lead to fear, which then lead to rage, which then lead to violence.  Somehow I can only think of the current political climate.  A state where currently, we have a U.S. President that espouses fear and hatred far more than empathy and understanding.  As one BBC article recently put it "Donald Trump does politics with one crucial psychological insight. Rage is an emotion that sticks around a lot longer than hope." (https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-46099744)  How is this a positive thing for the U.S. or the world in general?  Day after day, we fight against the rage and hatred of religious sects and fringe groups that espouse nothing but bigoted disgust and disdain for those different from them. We fight them in the hope that the positive, shining light of democracy will win out. Yet the U.S. President takes joy in rallying the evil troops?

The henchman for 'The IT' in A Wrinkle In Time, is ultimately shown to be a marionette of the entity.  Prior to revealing this, he tells the children "Everything is taken care of in total without options or alternatives."  What a chilling statement.  Almost as chilling as the scene where all the houses on the cul-de-sac are exactly the same, with a single child in each driveway bouncing a ball in absolute unison.  It's a visual statement that leans towards the mindless flock of sheep mentality, which currently seems to be permeating the nation.  However, there are rays of hope.  Not everyone views the world through the same hue of glasses.  Once Meg puts on the prism glasses given to her by the muses when they leave the children on Camazotz, she is able to see that things are not as they seem.  The area is not enclosed, her father is actually held captive there, and she can, in fact, reach him.  I suppose our world is a lot like that.  Sometimes you just need to look through a different set of glasses to find the real answers.

I think that the most poignant moment for me in this movie, stems from another quote from Mrs. Which, "Do you realize how many events and choices had to occur, since the birth of the universe, to lead to the making of you, just exactly as you are?"  

There are times in life when we all feel down, feel depressed, doubt our choices, even doubt ourselves and question our own self-worth.  It happens to everyone.  It's human nature.  It's also a natural part of growing up.  Having those feelings and thoughts, however, does not make them a true reflection of who we are.  Our lives are essentially mirrors.  Mirrors of our thoughts, mirrors of our actions, and most importantly, mirrors of those surrounding us.  Whom we choose to closely surround ourselves with has the ability to, many times, show us the clearest reflection of ourselves, but only if we are willing to look. 

It is easy to get bogged down in the minutiae of societal expectations, political rhetoric, and judgement, but, if we allow ourselves to truly see what those closest to us see in our hearts and minds, we can then begin to embrace and live up to the amazing people we actually have the potential to be, regardless of society's chain gang mentality.  As we learned in Wrinkle, love is the only force that can destroy the darkness of 'The IT'.  Love ultimately destroys jealousy, love destroys judgement, love destroys pain and despair.  How we treat others, how we speak to others, how we respect those who think differently than us, is the truest measure of humanity. That's definitely something that the President, and all of those running for office, should remember every time they open their mouths.


~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

A Life Worth Living

I know it's been a long time since I posted, and for that I apologize. Life has been, well, Life. Today's events, however, caused me to sit back and contemplate.

I attended the funeral of the mother of one of my childhood friends today. She was a beautiful, amazing woman who brightened the life of anyone she met. She did so right up until the end of her very brief, but truly courageous battle with cancer. Being at that service, and reconnecting with, if only for a moment, all the friends that I cherished so greatly growing up caused me to ponder the true shortness of life. Why does it take a tragedy to bring people out of the daily requirements of our existence to come together?

As a kid, there was a sense of infallibility. We all had it. Our friends, our family, and those who surrounded us would, in our minds, be there for eternity. As we grew into adults, daily life took over. Always a chore, always a preconceived need, always someone or something that required our immediate attention. The days of carefree attention to the moment at hand left by the wayside. My point, is that really the best way to live? Is something like a work deadline, or a household chore really more important than taking active part in our children's & family's lives or taking a few moments to lend an ear to someone we love? Why do we make the mundane tasks of everyday the precedent takers, as opposed to the moments and memories that become so much more long term important when those that we love are no longer there?

The lessons of today, for me anyways, are this ... take time, even if only for a moment each day, to notice the sunshine peeking through the rain clouds. To pay attention to that person who may need a hand. To applaud the small glimpses of brilliance your child has daily. To hug a friend. To really kiss & say loving words to your significant other. To truly listen with both ears regardless of the situation. To simply take a second to breathe deeply and be present and involved with not just your own world, but the world of those you hold dear in your life.

We only get one shot at this go round. Make it count. If we close our eyes and hearts too long, it just might pass us by.

Hugs & love to all
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

The Figurative and Literal Glitter of Rocky

The end of anything in life is a time of reflection. From jobs, to relationships, to school, to life experiences, it causes us to look back and reminisce, gain new insight, and, if we're lucky, gain additional insight into ourselves from that which we've now left behind. If we're really fortunate, we're able to look forward and see not only new possibilities born out of those lessons we garnered, but also to bring new friendships and newly learned talents and outlooks with us into our futures that stem directly from what's now over and done with.

Recently, I choreographed a local version of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show". When I began this endeavor back in February, I was extremely excited about choreographing the show, but a bit nervous about the level of undertaking. If you've never seen "Rocky Horror", it's quite a large musical that employs a rather small cast. Lots of innuendo, lots of glitter, multiple characters that strongly develop from one extreme to the other, and a hard core dose of crazy. Kind of a sci-fi "Romeo and Juliette" meets "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" melded with a warped "Wizard of Oz". Intensely fun, but as a choreographer, daunting on a number of levels. I can honestly say that my fears were unfounded.

From day one of auditions, the director and I had shared visions of what the show should look like. From week one of rehearsals, the cast jelled like no other I've ever worked with. Even when bumps in the road occurred, everyone supported each other and picked up any slack. No matter whether it was rehearsals or shows or times in between, this group of individuals not only brought their talent to the table, but also their open mindedness and compassion on all fronts. I feel so incredibly fortunate to have been a part of this show experience.

So what did I learn? What did I take away? It's not only the choreography & its execution that I'm proud of regarding this show. I learned that leaning on the people around you every day when life gets rough, even if they're still new friends, is a positive thing. I learned that letting go and simply enjoying the exact moment that you're in brings incredible joy. Practically, I even re-learned to run a light board and realized that dabbling in set design is a really fun thing! Most importantly, I gained a group of friends that are some of the most giving, talented, incredible individuals that I've ever had the good fortune to work with.

Our run of "Rocky Horror" finished this past weekend, and while I hate to let go of what has been an amazing ride, I look forward to life knowing these new people I've grown to adore, and the new positive life outlooks I've learned because of them and this experience. I now move forward in my own life, a better, more glittery person for the experience.

"And crawling, on the planet's face, some insects called the human race. Lost in time, lost in space .. and meaning." - Narrator, The Rocky Horror Picture Show

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

The Valuable Commodity of Trust

There are moments in life that occur on a regular and/or semi-regular basis, that you want to share with your friends ... Especially those specific friends who get what you're going through, or talking about. The ones who have similar life experiences. The ones that you implicitly trust. What happens, though, when those people no longer exist in your life?

Friendship break ups are similar to lover break ups, but somehow worse. There's always those small things that you associate with a particular person that makes you miss them. Situations or occurrences that bring up memories of good times, of shared experiences, but none of those instances make you okay with allowing that person back into your life. You might want to share with them despite the circumstances, but the thought of any form of contact makes you feel timid, insecure, and without trust for any conversation or revelations that would come of such contact. There is no way possible that you can imagine doing so without causing horrible anguish to yourself and your psyche. 

Why is that? Why do we have difficulty trusting our own judgment in the after effect of removing those who are toxic for us, or simply not good for us to associate with, from our lives?

Unfortunately, it's even worse when a group of friends break up (so to speak). There's second guessing,  mistrust, variance in alliances,  & worry that what one might say in confidence to another, may be retold incorrectly and judged unfairly by those whom you've cut ties with. It sucks.

Which leads me to my point .... why can't we live a life, with those who we deem closest to us, Without Judgment? Why can't we accept those we choose to love and trust for who they are, resist the tendency to jump to conclusions, ask them directly if we don't understand, and support them in the decisions that they make for their own lives, which might be different than what we may ultimately choose for our own?

There's always that one friend who, you may not agree with their life decisions, but you support them in what they feel is best for themselves,  regardless of whether or not it's best for you. There's always that friend who, at times, you become concerned about, but because you value and cherish the friendship, you talk through your concerns, even though you may want to jump to conclusions via gossip heard.

Is friendship truly trustworthy? Is it ok to share your deepest, darkest secrets with someone that you have no guarantee may turn on you at a critical moment?  It makes you wonder ... and, unfortunately, question your own judgment of the trustworthiness of those who are closest to you.

Still wondering. Trust is a valuable,  fragile commodity that, when broken, is truly difficult to earn back.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

The Infallible Certainty of Humanity

People. We're all human. We all have our own issues and problems and insecurities regarding ourselves and others. We all succumb to worry, fear, sadness, stress, and even occasional panic or paranoia at various times in our lives. We all make decisions, both intelligent and not so intelligent, and pay the price in some way for the not so bright ones. Remembering that, and having others in our lives that we can count on to be there as a shoulder when we're down, help us up when we've been hurt, and trust when we need to vent out anything ..  and knowing that those people can be truly trusted to keep our private worries to themselves without turning that information into any form of gossip, vicious or non, is an immensely important part of every one of us staying sane. Those types of family and friends are of the utmost high value.

There will always be those in our lives who judge without proof. There will always be those who jump to conclusions and turn those conclusions into accusations or gossip. There will always be those who, well, surprise you in the most unfortunate and disheartening ways that cause additional frustration, doubt in your own abilities, and, at worst, break your heart with their actions and reactions.

We are ALL human, and humans are infallible. Everyone of us is. Passing judgment, turning suspicion into gossip, and utilizing hypocrisy in conversation or actions is much like becoming the playground bully who takes the little kids' lunch money.

There's an old adage that talks about "killing them with kindness". No matter what the situation, I find that to be the best response. The only one you can truly count on to be okay with what you see in the mirror at the end of each day is Yourself .. and knowing that you took that higher road without gossip, without judgment based in pure suspicion, and without hypocrisy, is ultimately the only way any of us will be able to live with ourselves on a daily basis.

Things to remember as we trudge forward in life.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress