Any Unsilenced Voice

Its been a long time since I've posted, and for that I apologize. You see, I allowed others to silence my voice. This is not anyone's fault but my own. While going through the healing process from a violent breakup of an abusive relationship, I acquiesced to requests that, I'm sure, were for my safety at the time. I love and respect those voices, but the national situation at hand is a ripple effect that should no longer, and Never be held silent.

As a parent, I cannot pretend to know what the surviving parents and families of school shootings are going through. Nor do I want to. However, this type of tragedy is, unfortunately, becoming a harsh, terrifying reality on a daily basis. You only have to turn on the news, and the vast majority of information revolves around someone getting shot, or murdered, or killing themselves and others in places that we all once thought of as safe havens. I watched the #ListeningSession with President Trump on YouTube tonight.  Tears rolled down my face as I listened to the parents and kids speak.  As I listened I realized that, while I was ensconced in my own little world of issues, these teenagers who had firsthand experienced terrifying tragedy beyond comprehension were able to get out of bed and spur on an entire nation to change the world ... who was I to cowardly sit silent in fear?!  No. More.

When My generation was in middle and high school (yep, I'm going to date myself here), the biggest worry was brass knuckles and fights with that kind of thing after school.  We did have suicides, but the vast majority of them were not due to guns.  Now, in this age of 3D printers that can produce firearms, where does the "line in the sand" that protects our kids, and the innocent in general, lie??? I wholeheartedly agree with one of the Sandy Hook moms that spoke at the listening session with the President  .. "How many more deaths can we take as a country?? How many more times must this happen again??" Is the answer in x-ray machines and metal detectors that turn every institute of learning into a Homeland Security guarded zone?  Is it in educating the population in mental wellness, and creating a society that does not view mental illness such as depression, bipolar, and schizophrenia as taboo incurable subjects?  Is it in honest, non-political discussion and implementation of adjustments to gun rights laws that respect the 2nd Amendment, but police and deter those who do not have the empathetic capability for humanity, and/or are not old enough to completely grasp the consequences of using guns responsibly?  In my mind, all of these are viable reasons to revisit the gun laws, to amend the 2nd amendment, and to go all the way to the Supreme Court and demand that Nationally Something Must Change so that the innocent in our population are safe on a daily basis!

One of the Sandy Hook fathers who pioneered the non-profit group Rachel's Challenge commented during the session, "If we focus too much on diversity, we create division, and if we focus too much on unity, we create compromise.  However, if we focus on Relatedness, and how we can relate with one another, we can celebrate diversity and we can see the unity take place.  The focus needs to be on how we connect."  When it comes to mental wellness I can only agree completely. The lack of knowledge and understanding by the general population of anything that falls under the heading of "mental illness" or any other stigma that is not considered "normal" in our society is abysmal.  This needs to change.  Regardless, anyone who attempts to end their life, or puts live wishes to do so on social media, at the very least, should not be legally allowed to own or utilize a firearm of any kind, much less an assault weapon.  Quite honestly, I cannot image why the NRA would not back a platform of this nature.  No one is saying not to own a gun.  They are simply saying that those who are mentally unstable and more likely to cause harm to themselves or others should not be able to purchase one. The NRA has always put forth the mantra that it is people that kill people, not the gun  ....  in that vein of belief I can only assume that they would Fully back an amendment that is not a rights violation, but a safeguard for those who need safety! Suicide is currently the number 2 killer of our kids in the USA.  Knowledge is definitely prevention.

To my way of thinking, all of this is a ripple effect.  The #MeToo movement was due to forms of abuse that grew to refuse to be silent.  Abuse takes many forms, including violent ones, in every area of all our lives.  From school shootings, to adolescent and teen suicide, to domestic violence (of which I know too well), to drive by shootings of innocent bystanders, a change in all gun laws to protect the innocent and derail the ability of those not worthy or capable of respecting the weapon is crucial!  Changes in background checks & age limitations, changes in state laws, awareness, and, not just responsibility but Accountability, all are key in proactively creating a world where this type of tragedy Never Happens Again. 

#PresidentTrump, you campaigned on "Make America Great Again" ... here's your chance.  Proactively do it!

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

#parklandstudentsspeak  #enoughisenough  #itsnotaboutpolitics  #studentsstandup #stoptheviolence

Awareness

I've had complaints about my lack of blogs of late ... my apologies.  This going back to school thing is kicking my you-know-what!  Regardless, one of my classes is public speaking .. for which I have to write and deliver a number of different types of speeches (duh).  Below is the narrative of the persuasive Monroe's Format speech I'll be giving tomorrow for my final ..... would love your thoughts!

Raise your hand if you know someone with a mental illness.

Raise your hand if you know the causes of different forms of mental illness.

Raise your hand if you think it's easy to recognize someone with a serious mental illness.

Finally, raise your hand if you think the best way to handle people with mental illness is to keep them in hospitals or behind locked doors.

My friend “Sarah” has a teenage daughter. Her daughter was an intelligent creative rambunctious child, but as she has gotten into her pre-teen and teenage years, she has become headstrong, belligerent, violent in her outbursts and attitude towards her parents and authority figures, lies about everything, even things that she's obviously lying about, and has begun to have issues with shoplifting. Her parents have tried everything from rules and strictness to counseling and are constantly involved with her school on her behalf. Nothing has seemed to make a difference, and the problems simply escalate the older she becomes.

A girl I know became more and more worried about one of her best friends. “Gina”, who was known for her outgoing nature and friendliness to all, was pulling away from everyone, turning down social invitations that she would have joyfully joined in previously, was falling way behind in her grades, and missing school constantly. When gently asked what was wrong or if everything was okay, she denied there was an issue and would occasionally get defensive. She began wearing long sleeves at all times, baggier clothing and withdrawing more and more from everyone around her.

A woman I know has always seemed, from the outside looking in, to have it all together. Single mom, great kids, decent job, good friends, always putting everyone else before herself and somehow managing to appear sane. The side that no one ever saw was when she was alone, constantly near tears, self esteem so low that she didn't feel she deserved to reach out for help to anyone in any part of her life, and sometimes that even though she didn't have the guts for suicide, that she didn't deserve to have the wonderful people and things she had in life and that she definitely didn't deserve to live. She was always able to dress so no one really noticed her weight continuing to drop, until it was too late.

Mental illness is a stigma that affects someone that most of us know. It can be brought on by traumatic life events, imbalances in brain chemicals, discrepancies in early brain development, and even genetic predisposition. Unfortunately, there's generally an attitude of misunderstanding and avoidance whenever it's brought up or made public as a diagnosis. Children suffering from forms of mental illness are subjected to bullying by their peers, and misunderstanding by authority figures. Adults, can be judged as lazy or unreliable or unintelligent. All due to the lack of understanding and diagnosis of various common mental illnesses. But what if the education and understanding began at an early age? What if elementary, middle, and high schools all incorporated mental health education into their curriculum, and preventative staff such as trained social workers and guidance counselors were a normal funded part of school staff in every school? Would the problem be so misunderstood? Be less widespread? Be more easily diagnosed and the ramifications of undiagnosed mental illness be proactively avoided? Let's examine why mental health education and crisis prevention should be a funded, required component of elementary, middle, and high school education.

For the purposes of clarification, a mental illness is a disease that causes mild to severe disturbances in perception, thinking and behavior. Out of the five major categories of mental illness, the most commonly diagnosed are anxiety disorders, mood disorders, and eating disorders. Many of these co-occur, such as someone suffering from PTSD, an anxiety disorder, also suffering from bi-polar disorder, a mood disorder, or, someone suffering from Anorexia, an eating disorder, could also suffer from depression, a mood disorder, or OCD, an anxiety disorder. Undiagnosed and untreated, mental illness can become a major contributing factor to substance abuse behaviors, migraine headaches, and increased susceptibility to physical illnesses such as thyroid disease, diabetes, and heart disease later in life. According to the World Health Organization, about 11 percent of adolescents have a major depressive disorder by age 18, and it is the leading cause of disability among Americans age 15 to 44. Additionally, in 2009, suicide was the third leading cause of death among people age 15 to 24, with depression and other mental disorders being a major cause. In the case of my friend Sarah's daughter, the teen has endured years of teasing and bullying from peers for not grasping academic concepts at school, a major school disciplinary record, and, more recently, a juvenile record with the courts for her inability to control outbursts and actions. She became depressed and suicidal and felt the entire world was against her. As it turns out, Sarah's daughter suffers from bi-polar disorder. She is now receiving treatment, and recovering, but she will have much to overcome with self-esteem, academics, and social skills from the years of misunderstanding and lack of diagnosis. Gina, whom I previously mentioned, was fortunate enough to be at a smaller school that had a full time guidance counselor and social worker. Through intervention on their part it was discovered that she suffered from major depression and had begun cutting. They, along with Gina's parents, were able to get her the help she needed through counseling and medication. Five years later she is a successful college student with a positive outlook on life.

As with any form of illness, early diagnosis and treatment is key. The School Social Work Association of America recommends a ratio of one social worker to every 250 students, yet this is not the case in most schools in our nation. In Orange County, FL, the ratio is one to every 4,150 students. On average, social workers tend to be responsible for 4 to 8 schools each, which makes intensive interventions difficult. Winter Park, FL has developed a model by combining public and private dollars that allows for each of their 12 schools to have a full or part-time social worker, mental health counselor, or family therapist dedicated to their students. Already this school year 433 students have completed 12-week therapy sessions, which have taught coping skills instead of shutting down and turning inward in response to negative situations. In Ontario, Canada, a program developed called Beyond the Cuckoos Nest that utilizes speakers from the community who are recovering from various forms of mental illness in addition to classroom teaching, has been successfully implemented into secondary schools. It has not only raised empathy and awareness among students and teachers, but has created an environment where stigma is decreased to the point that assistance is more likely to be sought by students dealing with symptoms of mental illness of any kind. One teacher who participated in the program noted that “Several things come through loud and clear. Kids come back with tremendous empathy and understanding of what it must be like to be in the presenters’ shoes, which is a huge step. They also come back with respect for the battle that people with mental illness fight, and cognizant of the courage it takes to fight the battle.” This past month, the US Senate passed the Mental Health Awareness and Improvement Act, which reauthorizes and improves programs administered by both the Departments of Education and Health and Human Services related to awareness, prevention, and early identification of mental health conditions, and the promotion of linkages to appropriate services for children and youth. This is a great step in the right direction.

Many of us forget that the brain is an organ that is susceptible to disease or illness, just like any other. Just as cancer or diabetes can be treated with therapy and medication, so can mental illness. Unfortunately, due to media stereotypes of those with mental illness being violent, dangerous, comical, incompetent, or fundamentally different from everyone else, a stigma has arisen that is equally as damaging as any form of racism. The funding for mental health education and crisis prevention in schools so that diagnosis, empathy, and understanding happens at an early age is key in combatting this issue. The single mom that I previously mentioned at the beginning of this speech, is me. I began having symptoms of major depression and eating disorders at age 15, but was never diagnosed, was too ashamed due to my perception of what others would think to try to get help, additionally developed panic disorder and problems with alcohol abuse in an attempt to cope on my own, and ultimately worsened over 25 years to the point of malnutrition and almost full digestive system failure. I was hospitalized and ultimately got the help I needed to begin to begin full recovery. If early awareness and diagnosis had been available and occurred when I was a teenager, many of the physical problems that I will battle for the rest of my life could have been avoided. Mental illness is not a choice. It is a disease like any other. Think back to the questions I asked you at the beginning of this speech that you raised your hand to. Raise your hand if you would now answer any of them differently. I urge you to support the newly reinstated Mental Health & Awareness Act, support other upcoming initiatives such as the Excellence in Mental Health Act, and spend time learning and educating those around you about the warning signs of and available care for all forms of mental illness. I was lucky. Even though it took 25 years, I was diagnosed and began treatment before it killed me. Without awareness and crisis prevention, the next person may not be.