American Dream, or Nightmare?

Relationships. Webster defines a relationship as "the way in which two or more people or organizations regard and behave toward each other." That certainly leaves much to interpretation. Good or bad, positive or negative, caring or rude .... everyone we come in contact with is a form of "relationship" according to Webster! What about the relationships that mean the most to us? Our spouses or significant others, our family, our close friends ... how does that definition apply?

Theoretically we all strive to do right by those people in our lives we care about. It doesn't matter if it's a friend, family member, or coworker, I believe that if you see the good in someone else it brings out the good in yourself. We all have our "dark days". We all have our moments where we aren't at our best, but the Golden Rule of treating others as you would treat yourself absolutely applies. Essentially, if you truly care about someone, slips of attitude can always be forgiven in time. But what about the relationships that are without immediate human interaction? Dealings with landlords, banks, the decision makers in companies that one may never actually meet ... how do we keep those relationships positive when we have little to no interaction with anything but a slip of paper?

I recently watched a documentary entitled "American Winter". If you haven't seen it, you should. It pointed out the absolute obvious in our current economic climate. Over the past few years, the majority of us have gone through some form of economic hardship, but the major corporations have seen increased profits. Regardless of efforts by those people who are working multiple jobs and returning to school in an effort to better their opportunities, the companies who "hold the cards" like mortgage companies, landlords, and utilities providers, generally seem to refuse to give a benefit of the doubt and allow for a bit of altruism so that those people making an effort can get caught up from hardships and back on track. It would seem that they (the companies) are more interested in the short term rather than the benefits of what the long term will bring if only they treated clients with compassion and respect, instead of hard lining the immediate where money is concerned. It's no wonder the homeless rate has risen to ridiculous proportions and charitable organizations like food banks can no longer keep up with demand. While America is nowhere near the tragedies of the Great Depression, it would seem that FDR's New Deal enacted in the 1930's that got companies to raise the minimum wage while keeping costs of goods and services at the lowest possible rate should be seriously revisited if we are going to get the average American back on their feet without the need for federal or state assistance on a weekly and monthly basis. To quote from "American Winter", 'Right now, the American dream is to make it through tomorrow, and next week'. It's a sad state of affairs for a country that's supposed to be one of the richest in the world. To compound the issue, we seem to have reverted back to the days of Tammany Hall on a congressional level where there's more consideration for those who already hold wealth and power at the corporation level, than those who are desperately attempting to make ends meet at the family nucleus level. How many more lives will be destroyed before empathy is extended so that those who make the effort can get ahead without repercussions that only set them back again?

My hope for this new year is awareness that leads to empathy, that leads to action for the betterment of others. No one is entitled to a hand out without putting forth an honest effort, but those who put forth an honest effort should be allowed to not be knocked back down by the greed of others every time they do.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Bullying By Example

Bullying.  There's a large movement to increase awareness & prevent bullying with kids & adolescents. I agree with it wholeheartedly. Children, however, tend to learn most effectively by example.  Let's face it.  The examples being set by the grownups in society are not exactly stellar in the effort against bullying. Give those tactics a different name, & all of a sudden it's okay & accepted. Not exactly conducive to learning by example.

Many managers & executives in the business arena govern their employees with threats, ultimatums, & constant micromanagement fear of pay cuts or job loss. This is usually known as "management styles" or "business tactics". 
Some lawyers, aka "Ambulance Chasers", make their living seeking out clients for lawsuits of any kind in an effort to exhort money, create mistrust, & dissolve relationships, while divorcing spouses & their lawyers use everything from past settled arguments to threats of withholding property and, at most damaging, the children themselves, in an attempt to achieve each of their outcomes, without thought for the cost to others involved.  This tends to be referred to as "the Justice System". 
The salesman that pressures customers to purchase that which they may not really need or want (Sales Tactics).  The governments that sanction or retaliate against other governments for not operating the same as their own (International Policy).  The religious groups that condone violence against others due to a difference in beliefs or ways of living (Religious Right).  No matter how it's spun, these are examples of bullying at the grownup level.

Now think about how all of the aforementioned appears to a child. If the supposed adults in charge use pressure, coercion, & threats in a variety of forms to achieve their goals daily, what should we really expect them to take away from those examples?  What are they truly learning by example? It would seem, until the grownups figure out how to conduct themselves in a more accepting, empathetic, less subversive manner, the problem of childhood bullying will continue to be an issue across the board.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress