The Adage Revisited

"That which does not kill us makes us stronger"

Truer words were never spoken. So many times in life, or in My life I should say, that particular phrase is used as a sarcastic form of not complaining about the events at hand. The fact is, that no matter what the situation, if you step back and truly view said situation from a "what can I learn from this," or "what positive has come of this" perspective, that particular quote can usually be justified. It might be something small like getting on top of things that you had previously procrastinated about, or a heightened ability to notice fabulous things like a new rose in bloom in your yard that you were previously unaware of. Or, it might be something larger, like developing a closer relationship with those that mean the most to you, or finally taking the initiative to do what you had always secretly wanted to try. Regardless, the travesties in life tend to ultimately make us reevaluate so many things ... both perceived good & bad. How wonderfully fantastic is that?!

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

**Disclaimer**

To all who read this .. especially those who know me,

The things I write in this BLOG are personal musings .... about me, by me. They are simply a way to clear my brain from all of the random tangents that occur constantly in my head. In that vein, no one should take these thoughts of mine personally. Its a blog ... kind of like a public diary ... I love and appreciate everyone in my life for who they are & the privilege of their relationship every day. If you have a question about anything I write, please take a moment to ask. I'm happy to answer or clarify, but censoring my thoughts defeats the purpose of the blog itself.

Hugs to all!

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

To Do, or Not To Do ... Or Something Else

Has anyone ever noticed that when someone you know, even just an acquaintance, tells of a truly unfortunate incident in their life, people's automatic response is some form of, "I'm so sorry. Let me/us know if there's anything I/we can do." Now obviously, empathy would denote that the "I'm so sorry" portion is genuine. What about the second half of that sentence?

We all seem to use that phrase, yet actions tend to speak louder than words in these instances. While we may mean it when we say it at the time, most who speak those words honestly mean, "Let me/us know, and if it fits into my/our daily schedule without having to adjust much of anything, I/we are happy to occasionally help out once or twice." Now, I know saying that version out loud is something that none of us would ever do, but let's be real and think about it honestly. Every time in your life that you've said that phrase, would you spend your last $5.00, rearrange your daily schedule, open up your home, cancel your good-looking dinner date ... the difficult stuff. Or, would you inevitably say that you don't have the money / schedule / space / time to assist right then, but to give you a yell next time around? I know I, personally, have uttered the aforementioned phrase only to follow it up with a casserole I bought at the store or not making contact with the individual for a week as the "anything" portion. I admit it .. not proud of it. It takes a truly special person to be able to say those words after the empathetic "I'm so sorry" and actually follow through on the "Anything" portion ... the type of person that most of us on this planet are, unfortunately, not. Maybe it's time to find a new way of phrasing our level of willing assistance ..... unless we honestly mean to follow through with it.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Time Management / Time Muddlement

WORD PROBLEM:

Trina has 3 jobs, 2 kids, a dog, but no spouse. Jenny has 2 kids, a dog, a spouse, no job but does volunteer work. Mitzi has 1 job, a spouse, a dog, but no kids. They all three own houses. If all of their schedules are at different times of day, and two of them tend to travel as often as possible, when can they all get together for dinner? Answer: ______________________?!

Time seems to be one of the most valuable commodities on the planet. "If we only had more time we'd _____". "Where did the years go??" "Time flies..." These are phrases that are spoken and heard almost daily. Personally, I'd love a couple more hours in the day, but only if I had complete control over their usage. The "Have To's" seem to take over the "Want To's" and "Wish I Could's" so often. For example, I Have To work to pay my bills, and the kids Have To go to school to become functioning intelligent societal-contributing adults, but I Want To simply scoop them up and leave town for a week on the spur of the moment to do fun things in a foreign land. This, however, is getting off subject, or, as a friend of mine likes to say, "excuse me for digressing".

The real point of the initial word problem, is the management of time when it comes to what is deemed important in everyone's lives. Not that there are not many many important daily life aspects (some days there seem to be more than others!), but the juggling of the "Have To's" while incorporating some of the "Want To's" whenever feasible, while still maintaining a modicum of sanity and attempting to sleep at least 4 or 5 hours a night is no easy task. Add taking care of a couple of other people and animals into that equation, plus an active daily attempt at home upkeep, and you've got yourself a possible nervous breakdown in the making!

Now, imagine you're attempting to keep up that pace and 4 or 5 other people who are in obviously important areas of your life randomly show up and berate you for not organizing your time to mirror what they deem is most important. Do you attempt to juggle and placate? Or do you stand your ground while attempting to assure them that they do, in fact, still hold a very important place in your time pie chart. Do their actions make you feel stressed and guilty? Or is it possible to shrug them off without concern? What if one of them was your parent? Your child? Your best friend? Would that change your reaction?

I suppose my not-so-eloquently-verbalized-point is this .. in this fast-paced world where time seems to fly by instead of slowly meandering through, the best anyone can do is to make a little time every day / week / month for what is necessary for the sanity of your world. The expending of energy on guilt trips, meddling, and unnecessary stress is a waste of that precious commodity, Time.

The most positive thing anyone can put out into this world is a smiling face and a open-minded, easy-going, caring attitude. Just because it isn't the way you would achieve it, does not mean that it is not a viable correct option for someone important to you. Live and Let Live A Little! You might actually find some surprising extra Time on your hands! :)

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress