To Do, or Not To Do ... Or Something Else

Has anyone ever noticed that when someone you know, even just an acquaintance, tells of a truly unfortunate incident in their life, people's automatic response is some form of, "I'm so sorry. Let me/us know if there's anything I/we can do." Now obviously, empathy would denote that the "I'm so sorry" portion is genuine. What about the second half of that sentence?

We all seem to use that phrase, yet actions tend to speak louder than words in these instances. While we may mean it when we say it at the time, most who speak those words honestly mean, "Let me/us know, and if it fits into my/our daily schedule without having to adjust much of anything, I/we are happy to occasionally help out once or twice." Now, I know saying that version out loud is something that none of us would ever do, but let's be real and think about it honestly. Every time in your life that you've said that phrase, would you spend your last $5.00, rearrange your daily schedule, open up your home, cancel your good-looking dinner date ... the difficult stuff. Or, would you inevitably say that you don't have the money / schedule / space / time to assist right then, but to give you a yell next time around? I know I, personally, have uttered the aforementioned phrase only to follow it up with a casserole I bought at the store or not making contact with the individual for a week as the "anything" portion. I admit it .. not proud of it. It takes a truly special person to be able to say those words after the empathetic "I'm so sorry" and actually follow through on the "Anything" portion ... the type of person that most of us on this planet are, unfortunately, not. Maybe it's time to find a new way of phrasing our level of willing assistance ..... unless we honestly mean to follow through with it.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress