Freedom? Ownership? B.S.?

"If you love something, set it free.  If it comes back, it's truly yours.  If it doesn't it never really was."

This adage is both bullshit and truth, in my humble opinion.  I believe that the truth in it depends upon what that "something" is.  A child that grows up and goes away .. to college, to study abroad, to live elsewhere ... it is necessary to set that person free as they make their own lives.  They may come back to their roots, they may not, but a child is a gift that's only truly yours for the years you nurture and teach them.  After that, it's up to them. You just have to trust you gave them the best tools to live their life in a way that's best for them.

A romantic partner or a friend ... you don't have ownership of that person to begin with.  You both made a decision to share a portion of your lives during the time that your relationship lasted.  Regardless of the level of sharing ... be it a romantic partnership, a friendship, or even a marriage ... each of you is your own person that is not owned or controlled or indebted to the other.  The decision to be together is conscious choice on both parts.  To set free or not set free is not for the other to decide.

A loved one who is terminally ill .... honestly, it's better for that person to peacefully slip away not encumbered by the expectations of others to stick around.  To expect them to is only out of pure selfishness, as staying around only guarantees pain and suffering for the other person .. if one truly loves that person in any way, pain and suffering would never be wished upon them.

To hold on, to demand the continuing presence of the latter 2 examples, is rather invalid.  If one is ready to move on to a different page in their lives, who is anyone to tell them "No", that they're wrong in that desire?  The sadness that is inevitable after the cessation of a relationship that someone holds dear is simply a part of the change that occurs, and a necessary portion of the healing process.  Something that you take a deep inward look with and ponder, then move forward with your own needs and life.  Sometimes it's better to "take 5" and make a well thought out decision in relationships, but ultimately .................... I guess just chalk me up as a "Switzerland of Relationships".  I don't wish to be "owned", so I understand the need of others to freely run and choose their own path ... sometimes their path leads back, sometimes not, but either way I'd rather own my own life!  :) 

~The Girl In The Little Black Dress