Freedom? Ownership? B.S.?

"If you love something, set it free.  If it comes back, it's truly yours.  If it doesn't it never really was."

This adage is both bullshit and truth, in my humble opinion.  I believe that the truth in it depends upon what that "something" is.  A child that grows up and goes away .. to college, to study abroad, to live elsewhere ... it is necessary to set that person free as they make their own lives.  They may come back to their roots, they may not, but a child is a gift that's only truly yours for the years you nurture and teach them.  After that, it's up to them. You just have to trust you gave them the best tools to live their life in a way that's best for them.

A romantic partner or a friend ... you don't have ownership of that person to begin with.  You both made a decision to share a portion of your lives during the time that your relationship lasted.  Regardless of the level of sharing ... be it a romantic partnership, a friendship, or even a marriage ... each of you is your own person that is not owned or controlled or indebted to the other.  The decision to be together is conscious choice on both parts.  To set free or not set free is not for the other to decide.

A loved one who is terminally ill .... honestly, it's better for that person to peacefully slip away not encumbered by the expectations of others to stick around.  To expect them to is only out of pure selfishness, as staying around only guarantees pain and suffering for the other person .. if one truly loves that person in any way, pain and suffering would never be wished upon them.

To hold on, to demand the continuing presence of the latter 2 examples, is rather invalid.  If one is ready to move on to a different page in their lives, who is anyone to tell them "No", that they're wrong in that desire?  The sadness that is inevitable after the cessation of a relationship that someone holds dear is simply a part of the change that occurs, and a necessary portion of the healing process.  Something that you take a deep inward look with and ponder, then move forward with your own needs and life.  Sometimes it's better to "take 5" and make a well thought out decision in relationships, but ultimately .................... I guess just chalk me up as a "Switzerland of Relationships".  I don't wish to be "owned", so I understand the need of others to freely run and choose their own path ... sometimes their path leads back, sometimes not, but either way I'd rather own my own life!  :) 

~The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Pondering it

I made a ridiculously interesting discovery tonight.  Had a necessary phone conversation with a certain person who shall remain nameless, and discovered that when I said "Good Luck with everything", I truly and actually meant it!  After all of the horrible feelings, and betrayal, and mind numbing legal battles, I did completely and totally mean it.  Wonder how much fun Freud would have with that one?  I guess, after everything else is said and done, it is impossible to have no positive energy toward the person that created half of my child.  Go figure.  I do feel good about it though .... kind of happy.  I like that.  :)
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Continuing Towards 2.0 ... The Ongoing Saga

Cleaning out the attic ... don't know about everyone else, but I had totally forgotten about the majority of the things that I found. Some of it basic out of sight out of mind moments ... some of it full of memories. The pictures that used to be on my now high school senior daughter's walls (framed Disney prints) remind me of all the bedtime books and playing Barbie moments. Good memories. The bag of sports equipment reminds me of arguments long gone between my now ex-husband & I ... not so great memory. I've learned a lot since these things went up in that attic. Important things about myself, my children, my friends ... who I am, what I want, and what I'm willing to deal with and sacrifice. I'm selling it all ... getting the house ready to put on the market. There are times in our lives where it is best to own things and are ready to support them. There are also times in our lives where it is best to simply rent what we need, and look ahead to the better future that we make for ourselves where we own things again. I am entering a period of the latter. No matter. What will be will be, and just because it requires effort and a bit of elbow grease or creative thinking, doesn't mean it isn't the best choice. Continuing down the road towards Life 2.0! Pull up the Big Girl Knickers & Move Forward!! Honestly, I can't wait to see what the newest version of life brings to the kids and I when we arrive!! :) ~ The Girl In the Little Black Dress

Beyond A Reasonable Doubt??

SO ..... Miss Anthony got out of the murder / aggravated assault / aggravated abuse charges today & only has to deal with 4 counts of telling fibs to government officials. Since half the population has told a small fib to a government official at some point in their life (I thought I was going the speed limit! ... No, I'm unaware my tag is expired .... etc.), we're going to ignore those and say she pretty much got off scott free, as time served will undoubtedly count for the majority of whatever jail time she'll be required to do.

I'm not sure what I think about this one. I do think the prosecution was remiss in thinking that they had a strong enough non-circumstantial case for a capital murder charge to stick. All the defense had to prove was a "reasonable doubt", and even though Miss Anthony handled herself in an unforgivable manner after the disappearance/death of her child, the defense turned the trial into a proverbial game of Clue, so there was definitely doubt raised.

Seriously, I'm not surprised about the outcome. Overzealous prosecution plus crafty defense that seems like they're screwing things up but come out blazing at the end equals reasonable doubt to a human jury. To quote a friend of mine, "She was acquitted because there was Doubt ... that doesn't mean she isn't Guilty". Miss Anthony will have to look herself in the mirror every day for the rest of her life. Guilty ... Not Guilty .... Premeditated .... Accidental ..... she has to make peace with the fact that the small, adorable, precious life entrusted to her by a greater power than ours is gone, and she not only did nothing to stop that erasure but additionally tried to cover it up for reasons we shall never truly know. That's the messed up thing about Court TV and the media. They tend to report that which they find interesting, and that which will sell papers or boost ratings ... anything to get the masses up in arms and talking. I guarantee there was a whole host of evidence that the general population just didn't hear, unless they followed every minute of the entire trial daily in person. The jury obviously could not, in good conscience, take this young woman's life away from her for something that they felt there was a small chance she may not have done. Ultimately, they gave her back her life ..... or did they? To Be Imprisoned in one's own Mind and Psyche ..... there is No Greater Punishment. I've said it before, Karma has a funny way of coming full circle ...... for whomever is truly at fault, be it Miss Anthony or someone else, that's gonna be one hell of a comeuppance!

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress