The Mantra Table

There's a dining table on my back patio. Not unusual. Many people have such things. In this case, it's a table I rescued from being thrown out with the trash & refinished ... well, am in the constant process of refinishing. I call it my "mantra table".

Most of you know that I paint ... it's a great way to quiet my mind when I'm stressed or worried. This table constantly gets updates, new colors, new words of theoretical wisdom ... two days ago I was repainting many of the words that had gotten worn down. Ones like "truth", "support", "insight", "hope", "strength", "love", etc. Normally, I put a coat of polyurethane over the dried paint to protect it from the weather. Unfortunately, we had a series of thunderstorms happen before I could accomplish that. I came out today to realize that most of what I had done had been washed away by the storms. The only word that held? "Insight".

To me, that's a sign. In most cases, I paint and repaint that table in an effort to quell the fears and quiet the negative thoughts. To have "insight" as the only word remaining caused me to contemplate the meaning of a clean slate. Going back over that which you constantly battle daily isn't always the best healing process. Letting go and starting over with a fresh canvas, or clean slate is a much more positive way of thinking. Hanging on to that which is past and cannot be changed is rarely a healthy activity.

So now, I need your help. I'd like to create positive word mantras of every language for this table. You can send them to me via comment on this blog (I won't post the comments if you tell me not to), send them to me on Twitter or Facebook, or via email, it doesn't matter. Send them in your language or mine ... I want to create a table that's a positive world of mantras. Not just my own. The "slate" is now clean. Let's start filling it with new positives in every language!

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Twitter: @GirlInThLBD

Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/GirlInTheLittleBlackDress

Lessons from "Orange Is The New Black"

I began watching a show recently called Orange is the New Black. Technically, as it's on Netflix, I got a bit hooked and watched the entirety of Season One in 2 days!

The show is a compilation of amazing, heart-wrenching yet warming, terrifying stories about a group of female characters in Federal Prison. Who they were before, and how the choices they made that landed them there. It makes you ponder ...

I dare anyone over the age of 17 to say they've never done a single illegal thing. From turning right on red when the sign says not to, to running a stop sign by accident, to trying pot once because your friends were, to sipping wine underage. No one on this planet can say that they've never made a choice that wasn't in their best interests. As Sean Connery once said "Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time." Although, I doubt most of us thought it that far through!

There are so many relatable characters in this show. From the main character who has a short sentence but keeps making choices based on the "outside world" as opposed to the "prison bubble", to the Transgender just attempting to do best by his wife & son, to the athlete who simply wanted to fit in but made bad decisions by doing so, to the tales inside the prison of the need for simple human contact. It's essentially high school on steroids with a meth drug twist. The guards are warped, the system is biased ...... talk about shades of life!

We all have our own "prison". Mine is my ED and all the misgivings and second guessing, self-doubt that goes with it .... others have anything possible that attempts to bring them down & hold them where they'd rather not be. We've all made choices in our lives that, if caught and prosecuted, could have sent us to jail. We all feel trapped, and without choices or other options at times.

The final show of Season One ends with the main character, imprisoned for transporting drug money one time ten years prior, beating up a woman who's trying to kill her, who was actually imprisoned for killing an abortion nurse, after her 5th abortion, but the Christian right wing is paying all her legal fees, and she now feels she's the mouthpiece of God because she's been "forgiven by God". It's the definition of lava hot mess. Currently, my ex-husband is attempting to continue the bullying, abusive tactics he employed during our marriage almost a decade ago in a custody battle for our son. I'm using words instead of fists to fight him, but isn't it basically the same?

The characters in this show work through their past mistakes and attempt to learn and better themselves from such. Most of us try to do the same. We screw up, we pay the price or "do the time", and move on. Unfortunately, there are people out there who constantly and consistently judge every one of us by our past transgressions ... even if we've made up for them, learned from them, and attempted to better ourselves from the lessons learned from them. These judgemental people are the saddest, most insecure humans on the planet. Anyone who is so insecure or self-centered with their own life that does not have the ability to see or appreciate strides made in the area of reparations by others, well, I pity those people. The ones who are so miserable, or stressed out by their own lives, that they have to pass judgment on others just to make themselves feel better.  It's a much worse fate than anyone who owns up to a mistake and pays the price for it.

So to those people out there that deem themselves to know what's best for everyone else who happens to pass through their lives, to those who regard anyone who doesn't think or act in exactly the same way as they personally do, to those who can't appreciate the beauty of the forest because they're too busy looking at the knots on the tree trunks ... take a deep breath and appreciate the beauty of the differences in the world. Those who don't, are missing out on more beautiful facets of life and original thought process than they'll ever know.

Everyone makes mistakes. The mistakes are not what should define a person. It's what someone Does with the Lessons from those mistakes that are a truer definition of who they are.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

The Love Of A Pet

We lost a family member today. Our 16 year old cat, Tini. Actually, she was my boyfriend's cat, but she "adopted" me from the beginning of our relationship. She loved burrowing under the covers to lay up against our legs at night ... purring away with pure pleasure. She may have been old, but if a bird or squirrel showed up, she was as fast as a kitten going after it! Sweet, lovey, cuddly, purring Tini. We love you so much, there's no way we could allow your final days on this earth to be pure agony from the tumor that invaded your body.
I'm going to quote a poem that is not mine, but is appropriate, called "Rainbow Bridge":

Just this side of Heaven, is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water, and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.
All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor, those who were hurt or maimed are made whole again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing. They each miss someone very special to them who had to be left behind.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. Their eyes are bright and intent, their eager body begins to quiver.
Suddenly, they begin to run from the group, flying over the green grass, their legs carrying them faster and faster.
You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again.
The happy kisses rain upon your face, and happy purr murmurs whisper in your ears, your hands caress the beloved head and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.
Then you cross the Rainbow Bridge together.

RIP Tini. We love you dearly and already miss you terribly.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress