The Complexity of Forgive

"Forgive & Forget". Such a difficult concept for so many, both in separate parts, and as a unit together.  The words "I forgive you" can be used and truly meant, but if the action or actions that were forgiven stay in our minds, or are brought up as examples in later discussions or arguments, were they really forgiven? Is true human forgiveness possible when we can't delete the memories from our heads?  Do we, as humans, honestly have the ability to completely forgive & forget all transgressions?

I do believe, have to believe, that in many ways it is possible.  I also believe that it depends upon the person.  There are those out there with an ego that is so self-righteous, for whatever reason, that they simply do not possess this empathetic capability, are doomed to judge everyone on their own personal terms, and will never let things from the past go. I pity them.

The harshest, most difficult "forgive & forget" I have found, however, is towards ourselves. Personally, I struggle with that one, even regarding the smallest of mistakes, every day. Again, even if you "forgive" yourself, is it possible to achieve the level of "forget" to where one does not berate themselves in their mind by past comparison? Difficult personal lessons ... I hope one day to learn them fully.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Ego versus Empathy

"Everybody's got the right to be, happy. Everybody's got the right to feel free! Rich man, poor man, black or white, grab the apple, take a bite! Everybody's got the right to their dreams!"

Lyrics. I'm currently choreographing a musical theater show titled "Assassins". It's a poignant dark comedy, but those lyrics seem to hit home in so many other areas.

Why is it that some people feel it is their right to attempt to take away the rights & dreams & happiness of others?  From something global like the former Apartheid or the current Middle East jihad unrest, to something national like Gay Marriage Rights, or something more personal like nasty divorces or custody battles. In every single case, it ultimately boils down to the views & values & beliefs of one person versus that of another. While basic laws must be in place for a civilized society to exist, who is anyone of us on this planet to judge what makes another happy or what their dreams & path in life should be?  Who among those of us that walk this earth are so perfect, They should be given the right to pass that judgment? 

Civil wars throughout the world, opposing political party viewpoints, children being denied one parent simply due to the views of another ..... all of these are tragedies that occur when one human takes it upon themselves to stand on a soapbox & proclaim that their way of doing things is the only one that is correct.  It's sad.  It's egotistical.  It's just plain demented.

Last I checked, no matter what your theological beliefs or moral value systems are, the Constitution of the United States of America proclaims that All are Equal. If that truly is the case, then who is any of us to judge the thoughts, feelings, belief systems, & lifestyle choices of anyone except holding our own selves accountable?

So you're religious? Why can someone else's religious beliefs not be as equally valuable to them as yours are to you? 

So you're straight? Why can someone else's gender preferences not be as equally viable to them as yours are to you? 

So you're divorced? Well you obviously had differences of opinion to begin with or you wouldn't be divorced.  Why then must your children suffer because you personally disagree with lifestyle choices your ex is making, as long as the children are loved & cared for by both sides?

Unfortunately, thanks to the overinflated egos of many humans out there, a utopian society of true empathy, compassion, & understanding will never truly exist.  However, if my thoughts cause you to take a tiny step back & reassess what the overarching good of a possibly tumultuous situation might be the next time you encounter such a thing ...... Just saying ......

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress