There's No One Perfect Answer

Today a friend confided horrid news that's left her feeling broken and embarrassed and depressed. Same thing happened with another friend a few days ago, something happened that left her feeling hurt and helpless and worried. While the situations are different, the results are similar. It happens to all of us at some point. Something unfortunate or horrible happens due to the actions of others, and we're left to muddle through a myriad of terrible, self-recriminating emotions. Why do we ultimately allow others, no matter how close, to have such control over how we feel about ourselves?

I am one of the world's worst about this. I tend to turn around negative situations and blame myself immediately. I try not to, I attempt to think it through logically, reminding myself that I cannot control the actions of others, but it's just not that easy to move beyond the depression and self-hatred sometimes.

A wise person once told me that our Feelings in reaction to any situation are Never wrong. It's what we Do with those feelings, our Actions in response to them, that can be appropriate or inappropriate. I find that somehow comforting. It's okay to feel these horrible, uncomfortable emotions, but as long as we find a way to actively release them that works for us and doesn't cause additional stress to any innocent bystanders in the process, then there's no wrong way to go about it. Be it confiding in a friend who has a great shoulder to cry on, be it joining a support group or talking to a professional, be it painting, or exercise, or long walks, or rearranging the furniture in every room of the house .... there's no one correct way to release and move forward. It's whatever works for each individual.

I suppose it's all ultimately a healing process. Our feelings towards ourselves, our feelings towards those who caused our pain, how we ultimately find the strength, courage, fortitude, and forgiveness to move forward with our lives in a new direction that we might never have planned for. The point is, that we Move Forward. Some of the most beautiful things in life can eventually grow out of the muck, if we only allow them to do so.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress