Politics are a messy business. This country was founded on the rights of all citizens to be heard, and to be considered equal. It was also founded on the premise that anyone accused of a crime is innocent until proven guilty. That's easier said than done. There is always doubt. There are always multiple sides to every story, and in that same vein, each side honestly believes that they are correct in their recollection of the incident. But what about when there is undeniable proof of a crime? What happens when the accusations are over, and the hearings, or the trial, are over? What happens when the restraining orders expire and there are no longer legalities rolling through their governmental red tape processes? Are the victims of said crime magically healed? Is the accused suddenly reformed? Do the rights of one side take precedence over the other?
A few years ago, I unwillingly became a survivor of domestic violence. This is not something that I have shared previously with all of you. Partially because I am not a person to air personal issues publicly, partially because I was scared of him and did not want the backlash, and partially because no one wants to admit that some proverbial ogre got the better of them. No. More. I did not get insanely beaten up, but I was threatened, badgered, verbally battered, bruised, and verbally abused. My home was trashed and physically shattered, my children and pets were endangered, and I ended up being diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder from the ordeal. I lost my confidence, my courage, and my trust in humanity. Throughout the initial court process a group called Safe Alliance was my lifeline. They walked me through every point of the process, got me a qualified lawyer to represent and fight for me when I could not, and gave me hugs when I was too terrified of the world to walk out into it. But they could only go so far. When my abuser was released from psychiatric commitment, I was not notified by the hospital nor the authorities, I was told by a close friend of his that was concerned for my safety. After my abuser continually violated the restraining orders I had against him, and months later was jailed for similar crimes against others, I was not notified of his release, nor of the fact that he had reentered the area. I was notified that he was working in an area nearby by another concerned friend of his, never by law enforcement or the district attorney, as the current law states should occur. This man ultimately put my children at risk with his violent behavior and threats, and created a hell on earth life for me where I was so terrified of him that I blamed myself for the violence, cowered in fear in my own home, and felt it necessary to push large furniture against the doors nightly for months, until I moved residences without a forwarding address. Even though there are still, to this day, warrants out for his arrest because of his multiple restraining order violations, the restraining order extension has expired. I worry every time I walk outside and am in constant stress about my children being away from home. It's no way to live, truly actually Live life.
Marsy's Law is a constitutional amendment on the ballot this election. Essentially it strengthens protection for victims of crime. From requiring notification of hearings, escape, parole, and release, to allowing victims to appear at hearings and speak at such, it's a step in the right direction for victims' rights ... IF it's enforced. Currently, the law in North Carolina states that notification is required "as soon as is practicable, but within 72 hours after identifying a victim covered by this Article, with ...". It goes on to list available medical services, crime victims' compensation, address and phone number of the district attorney, and access to applicable law enforcement that should be given to the victim involved. Seeing as my abuser managed to begin violating the initial emergency restraining order within 24 to 36 hours, and even though I called 911 and had all my paperwork, he ran away before they could arrest him, and the police didn't feel it was worth the effort to chase him down, the 72 hour thing appears to be a useless venture. Furthermore, while the domestic violence team of my local law enforcement agency did do a great job of contacting me on a weekly basis for the first 6 to 8 months after the hearing, no one ever alerted me to his movements or release from any psychiatric or correctional facility. In dealing with the healing process involved for not just myself, but also my family, those "heads up" moments would have been extraordinarily helpful. Instead we, as a family, suffered emotional setbacks and continued worry and constant fear due in part to a lack of communication by the authorities and judicial system. I would hope that my experience would not be the case for victims of felonious violent crime, as domestic violence is only considered a 'misdemeanor', But, isn't any violent crime against another human being worth preventing and protecting, regardless of what 'label' the law puts upon it?
I know that there are those out there that will argue that once people serve their time, they should not have to endure a life sentence of judicial recrimination. The ACLU is actually one of the groups lobbying against this Amendment. While I agree with many tenants of what the ACLU stands for, as a survivor of domestic violence who felt failed by the supposed protections of the law during my ordeal, I have a real problem with how our current laws actually follow through on violent crime cases. I made the mistake of trusting my attacker for years before he brutally betrayed that trust, and still have trouble not startling when I hear noises while walking, or instinctively flinching when I'm not expecting the passing touch of someone nearby. I cannot imagine what those who endure random violent crime experiences must be facing on a societal trust basis daily! This Amendment can do wonderful things for those of us that have triumphed over the violent behavior of others, but Only if it is Actually and Consistently Enforced.
I implore law enforcement to take victims' rights seriously, and to actively attempt to enforce what the law already says. In the hope that Marsy's Law is passed, I beg both law enforcement and the district attorney's offices to adhere to All Notification Stipulations Without Fail. I know what acquiring post traumatic stress disorder in, what should be the safety of, your own home is like ... I can't imagine the hell that survivors of violent crime in random situations go through daily.
If nothing else spurs you on, then allow this blog to do so. Get Out There And Vote. Make your voice heard, and, vote your conscience for this Amendment. Allow your voice to do for others what violent offenders strip their ability to do for themselves.
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress
For more information on Marsy's Law:
https://marsyslaw.us
For more information on Safe Alliance:
https://safealliance.org
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
https://www.thehotline.org
A few years ago, I unwillingly became a survivor of domestic violence. This is not something that I have shared previously with all of you. Partially because I am not a person to air personal issues publicly, partially because I was scared of him and did not want the backlash, and partially because no one wants to admit that some proverbial ogre got the better of them. No. More. I did not get insanely beaten up, but I was threatened, badgered, verbally battered, bruised, and verbally abused. My home was trashed and physically shattered, my children and pets were endangered, and I ended up being diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder from the ordeal. I lost my confidence, my courage, and my trust in humanity. Throughout the initial court process a group called Safe Alliance was my lifeline. They walked me through every point of the process, got me a qualified lawyer to represent and fight for me when I could not, and gave me hugs when I was too terrified of the world to walk out into it. But they could only go so far. When my abuser was released from psychiatric commitment, I was not notified by the hospital nor the authorities, I was told by a close friend of his that was concerned for my safety. After my abuser continually violated the restraining orders I had against him, and months later was jailed for similar crimes against others, I was not notified of his release, nor of the fact that he had reentered the area. I was notified that he was working in an area nearby by another concerned friend of his, never by law enforcement or the district attorney, as the current law states should occur. This man ultimately put my children at risk with his violent behavior and threats, and created a hell on earth life for me where I was so terrified of him that I blamed myself for the violence, cowered in fear in my own home, and felt it necessary to push large furniture against the doors nightly for months, until I moved residences without a forwarding address. Even though there are still, to this day, warrants out for his arrest because of his multiple restraining order violations, the restraining order extension has expired. I worry every time I walk outside and am in constant stress about my children being away from home. It's no way to live, truly actually Live life.
Marsy's Law is a constitutional amendment on the ballot this election. Essentially it strengthens protection for victims of crime. From requiring notification of hearings, escape, parole, and release, to allowing victims to appear at hearings and speak at such, it's a step in the right direction for victims' rights ... IF it's enforced. Currently, the law in North Carolina states that notification is required "as soon as is practicable, but within 72 hours after identifying a victim covered by this Article, with ...". It goes on to list available medical services, crime victims' compensation, address and phone number of the district attorney, and access to applicable law enforcement that should be given to the victim involved. Seeing as my abuser managed to begin violating the initial emergency restraining order within 24 to 36 hours, and even though I called 911 and had all my paperwork, he ran away before they could arrest him, and the police didn't feel it was worth the effort to chase him down, the 72 hour thing appears to be a useless venture. Furthermore, while the domestic violence team of my local law enforcement agency did do a great job of contacting me on a weekly basis for the first 6 to 8 months after the hearing, no one ever alerted me to his movements or release from any psychiatric or correctional facility. In dealing with the healing process involved for not just myself, but also my family, those "heads up" moments would have been extraordinarily helpful. Instead we, as a family, suffered emotional setbacks and continued worry and constant fear due in part to a lack of communication by the authorities and judicial system. I would hope that my experience would not be the case for victims of felonious violent crime, as domestic violence is only considered a 'misdemeanor', But, isn't any violent crime against another human being worth preventing and protecting, regardless of what 'label' the law puts upon it?
I know that there are those out there that will argue that once people serve their time, they should not have to endure a life sentence of judicial recrimination. The ACLU is actually one of the groups lobbying against this Amendment. While I agree with many tenants of what the ACLU stands for, as a survivor of domestic violence who felt failed by the supposed protections of the law during my ordeal, I have a real problem with how our current laws actually follow through on violent crime cases. I made the mistake of trusting my attacker for years before he brutally betrayed that trust, and still have trouble not startling when I hear noises while walking, or instinctively flinching when I'm not expecting the passing touch of someone nearby. I cannot imagine what those who endure random violent crime experiences must be facing on a societal trust basis daily! This Amendment can do wonderful things for those of us that have triumphed over the violent behavior of others, but Only if it is Actually and Consistently Enforced.
I implore law enforcement to take victims' rights seriously, and to actively attempt to enforce what the law already says. In the hope that Marsy's Law is passed, I beg both law enforcement and the district attorney's offices to adhere to All Notification Stipulations Without Fail. I know what acquiring post traumatic stress disorder in, what should be the safety of, your own home is like ... I can't imagine the hell that survivors of violent crime in random situations go through daily.
If nothing else spurs you on, then allow this blog to do so. Get Out There And Vote. Make your voice heard, and, vote your conscience for this Amendment. Allow your voice to do for others what violent offenders strip their ability to do for themselves.
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress
For more information on Marsy's Law:
https://marsyslaw.us
For more information on Safe Alliance:
https://safealliance.org
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
https://www.thehotline.org
