What do you do when someone you love is going through a horribly difficult time that stresses out every ounce of their being? It's actually a pretty difficult question. Being there for them ... being truly present & listening is always an option, but sometimes talking it out only makes things worse for the one that's hurting. Hugs are always good ... the kind that are warm, & caring, & completely enveloping, but once the hug is released, the pain is still there. Gifts are only a temporary smile, and activities designed to redirect their mind only work while the activity is occurring ... then their mind reverts again. It truly is a dilemma.
How do you help someone you deeply care for feel more positive when they can't find positive on their own?
I know, from personal experience, that being in the depths of despair is impossible to climb out of other than momentarily. There's no amount of frivolity, or laughter, or hugs, or sunshine that can keep the annoying little dark thunder cloud from following you about. Those things may disperse it for a short while, but ultimately it storms back up again, directly overhead. The good fortune of others, while you desperately want to feel happiness for them, only reiterates the horrid thoughts about yourself in your own mind. I think that it's actually what the British mean by the term "sticky wicket"!
I have also learned that the only way to truly bring yourself out of a horrible, ultimate funk, is to actively do something about it. I tend to paint and mosaic, as it helps me feel that I'm purposefully creating positive change out of that which was bland & negative before. Everyone is different, so each individual has to find their own niche of creating positive in their surroundings. Burying one's head may quell the pain temporarily, but actively Allowing yourself to create it out, cry it out, exercise it out, work it out, Get It Out is the only way to truly dissipate that dark cloud. Those around you who love & care can & will assist & support, but the only person with the power to make the dark cloud truly leave is the person to whom that cloud belongs.
I suppose that no matter how much you love someone, no matter how deeply you care, or how strongly you support them, the choice is ultimately theirs. You can point out the sunshine that lies beyond the clouds in every way possible, but it's up to them to push through the storm to the happiness beyond the clouds in the end.
I shall now end with a favorite Dr. Seuss quote that I hope inspires: "I've heard there are troubles of more than one kind, some come from ahead, some come from behind, but I've bought a big bat, I'm all ready, you see, Now My Troubles Are Going To Have Troubles With Me!"
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress
1 comment:
Liked this one a lot. Sometimes people live in their own misery because that's where they feel most comfortable. If we look at others lives from afar, they may look much better than ours, when in actuality they are not. We all go through many struggles and trials in our lives and sometimes the only difference is our perspective. You have a choice in life to get bitter or better. A pity party never helps anyone - not that person or those around them.
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