Seussical Outlooks

I love Dr. Seuss.  I realize that his rollicking rhymes are not for everyone over the age of 10, but I happen to be one of those overgrown kids that continues to find humor and enlightenment in his work.  There's so much real life knowledge & thoughtfulness that's hidden behind the facade of those children's rhymes.  Life is full of complicated questions, that we, as adults, tend to make even more complicated if only by our past precedents throughout life (colloquially known as "baggage").  Most things do not have to be as complicated as we make them, yet we continue to overthink and apply every school of thought imaginable in an effort to make "informed decisions".  It has begun to be more and more clear to me personally, that decisions are much better made without a perusal through every possible option or past precedent imaginable.  What if we all applied a Dr. Seuss mentality to our decisions for just one day?  Think about it ....

"Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened" - outlooks and reactions to life and its constant situational craziness would be so much more positive ...

"A person's a person, no matter how small" - no matter how small, or what gender, or what color, or what belief system, talk about erasing incredible amounts of "human-phobias" of all forms .....

"From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere" - that they are, and if we look at them and appreciate the absurdity of them, we all might be a bit more tolerant and a lot less angry ...

"He who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man" - all forms of recovery, from grief and loss to addictions to disorders of any and every kind benefit from this one, I personally should remind myself of it daily, and subjecting ourselves to being any less than human simply isn't fair .....

"Today I shall behave as if this is the day I will be remembered" - if this is the day I will be remembered by, then I sure want it to be a day where I did as many positive things as possible .....

"I have heard there are troubles of more than one kind, some come from ahead some come from behind, but I've bought a big bat I'm all ready you see, now my troubles are going to have troubles with me" - I'd like to think of the "big bat" as theoretical, not violent actual, but you get the picture, letting the troubles take over, instead of the alternative, leads life down a much less positive, sadder road than what it could be if that "big bat" gets used on them ...

... AND FINALLY ...

"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple" - think of how much easier life would be if we focused on the simplicity of the answers instead of the complications of the questions!  Take it back to the "baggage" I referenced at the beginning of this post.  Discontinuation of utilizing said "baggage" as our main focus would make life so much simpler, so much easier, so much happier and forward thinking!  Not trying to be Pollyanna, but seriously. 
I hope that everyone reading this goes forward in their day with a little brighter outlook and a bit more "Seussical" mindset! :)


~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Daily Jumprope

"Life is like a box of chocolates"
Bullshit.  Life is more like trying to skip double jumprope.  Allow me to explain ....

This particular playground game requires a person on either end of the ropes, who must be able to turn the ropes in unison so that they essentially orbit each other while in motion.  The person, or persons, attempting to jump rope under such conditions must be able to gauge when to run into the center and jump as each rope circles under their feet and avoid hitting the top rope while jumping. Hmmm .... each position requires focus, control, cooperation, and a certain level of trust.  Otherwise, someone gets smacked in the head by a spinning rope ... or in the ankles ... or gets their arm torqued during rotation ..... lots of possible messed up scenarios that end in hurt feelings or injury.  But if everyone works together, if everyone utilizes a bit of focus and physically makes an effort, the game is successful and ultimately fun for all involved.  Sounds a lot like almost any situation in daily life to me!

Goal for each day: Jump, Spin, and Watch for Rogue Ropes  ;)

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Facets of Complication

Complicated.  The word encompasses so many areas of life.  From description of WHO we individually are, to HOW we individually act and react, to circumstances in general.  Looking inside yourself, however, is the most complicated thing of all.  Why do I do the things that I do?  Why do I make the decisions that I make?  Why do I react the way that I react?  Why do I act the way that I act?  Talk about complicated ...... the most complicated of all, however, seems to be the understanding and melding of different ideologies, actions, reactions, and ways of dealing with situations in a relationship.  Take two humans who share a romantic passionate connection, then attempt to achieve understanding from each to the other of how that person thinks, acts and reacts in any given situation, and have each accept the differences without getting their own feelings hurt in some way .... equals in complicated WORK from both parties.

Why are relationships so much work?

In truth, we can think that we are making every effort to be upfront, honest, flexible and understanding in any relationship, but if the other party communicates and/or thinks in a different way, they may not feel that we are putting forth any effort at all.  The delicate balance between what we think and feel we're putting forth regarding effort vs. what someone else thinks or feels we or they are putting forth, vs. the overarching looking at the equation from the outside .... well, things are never quite what they seem in our own heads.  While relationships of all types do require effort, I'm learning that the most important part of that is that all parties put in the effort and that it is recognized by all parties involved.  If it's not recognized that the effort is being made on all fronts ... well, let's just say that it's a recipe for hurt feelings and relationship disaster on every front.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Positive Notes from the Rollercoaster

Sometimes things turn out better than they would originally seem.  Sometimes, even when you feel like the entire world is a sad, lost cause & that the best parts of your life are railing against you, occasionally, things turn themselves around via efforts that you didn't realize were noticed, and become absolutely fabulous.

I'm not going to go into specifics, but let's just say that the past 48 hours have been quite the rollercoaster ride.  But just like a rollercoaster, with drops that take your heart and breath away, paired with climbs to heights that are breathtakingly beautiful, eventually the ride slows down so you can catch your breath, look at the person in the seat beside you, & achieve the realization that the calmness after the adrenaline rush is an unequivocally beautiful thing.  Right now, I'm sitting beside a beautiful fire by candlelight, after an almost perfect day of friends, family, children, happy wishes and notes from so many I care about, and magical moments with someone incredibly important and dear to me.  Life may not be easy, or perfect every moment, but its ups and downs that sometimes resemble that death defying rollercoaster, do make the moments that are happy and wonderful and fulfilling so much more beyond words gratifingly phenomenal.  Even the tearful moments create a deep appreciation for the happy possibilities when they occur. 
Sometimes things turn out better than they would originally seem.  I don't think I would change one thing.  :)

Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The Courage to change the things I can,
And the Wisdom to know the difference.

Happy Birthday to Me! :)
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Debating the Annoyance of Political Posturing

So I was watching the presidential debate last night, and a number of thoughts occured to me.  Let me preface my thoughts with the fact that I am a registered INDEPENDENT, meaning that I agree and disagree with entirely too many points on all sides to officially affiliate myself with any one political party.  Personally, I think all of them are rhetoric spouting hypocritical con artists.  That being said, I shall begin .....

Historically speaking, many presidents who are viewed as achieving great things, were opposed, fought against, and ridiculed during their terms as president.  George Washington (Federalist), Abraham Lincoln (Republican), FDR (Democrat), George H.W. Bush (Republican), Bill Clinton (Democrat), are just a few of our past presidents that achieved great things but were opposed by various factions of Congress and other political ideologists while in office.  Under the current economic landscape, I cannot imagine anyone taking office that will not have opposition of some form.  There will be agreements, disagreements, arguments, self-righteous congratulations, and water cooler grumbling gossip on every single issue addressed as we go forward into this next presidential term, no matter who is sitting in the Oval Office.  Additionally, our economy tends to be a "trickle down effect" in itself.  The true effects of changes made to policy and programs put in place aren't actually seen until those changes and programs have run their course for a couple of years at the least.  If you look at it logically, FDR, with his unprecedented 3 consecutive terms, was really the only president that was able to truly see and reap the benefits of his decisions while in office.  While other presidents are credited with certain economic gains or stability, a good portion of what occured while they were in power should actually be, at least in part, credited to their immediate predecessors.

One of the major points that I noticed, and that was pointed out by both candidates, is that both are striving for many of the same ultimate goals.  The lowering of rates for middle income families and small businesses, avoiding adding to the deficit, improvement to healthcare options for everyone ... they both agree that these things should be achieved.  The differences lie in how they each think we should go about achieving these things.  Again, it should be pointed out that the issues in the current economic landscape, and the gains that have been and will be made going forward over the next 4 years, should be, in part, attributed to those who were in office before them and the policies and decisions that were made during their term(s).  As far as I could tell from last night's debate, bipartisan effort is going to be extraordinarily important to whomever takes office, unless we're looking for 4 years of stalemate.  Regardless of whose policies and programs are better or more effective or logical, if all sides do not quit the posturing rhetoric and bury the hatchet to work towards the common goal of improving our economy at both a national and international level, our situation is only going to go from bad to worse.  Whether the person sitting in that fabled office is black or white, Mormon or Protestant, privledged childhood or poor, does not matter.  What matters is that all parties rally behind whomever is there so that positive steps can be achieved instead of just talked about.  If we could get all candidates to list out specifically their plans for growth in the aforementioned areas, then have a impartial group assimilate those plans into an excel spreadsheet comparison, that would be most informative and ideal, as the lack of specificity on how each side plans to achieve said goals was, and is, annoying at best.

I'm still undecided, and sticking with my Independent registry.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Levels of Heat

"Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one that gets burned." ~ Buddha

I've been working on letting go of anger lately ... all sorts of it.  Normally I let go of it pretty immediately.  Address the situation, then let it be in the past.  Nothing that can be done to change it anyways.  There have been situations of late, however, that I've had a more difficult time doing that with .... I think mainly because I was unable to address those situations directly so that they could be in the past.  Anyway, I read the above quote and it really hit home.  Holding onto that anger ... that distrust .... those negative emotions .... it can really cause painful disfigurations!  Regardless of the reasons for the anger, or how deserving of one's anger the offending situation is, the fact remains that Buddha is completely correct.  The negativity simply tears you yourself apart in every way possible and creates infinitely more lasting damage on YOU than on the object of your issue.  Not saying that trust should immediately be given back, or that whatever situation it was should be seeked out to remain in the forefront of life so it can cause more pain.  Neither of those are realistic or wise, but letting go of the negativity and moving forward with life in a new direction with a more positive outlook is a better, happier, much more self-preserving option.

But what if the object of the anger is yourself?

What if that anger, that distrust, that deep-seated hatred against something that offends you completely, is directed by You at You?  Addressing it ... letting go of it ... making peace with it ... moving on from it ..... that becomes excruciatingly difficult.  The process of attempting to let go, in this case, seems to cause more scarring than any other form of letting go of anything in life.  How do you make peace with yourself when there's a part of you that wants to argue that which made you angry with yourself in the first place?  How do you let go of that inwardly directed anger in a way that's not just temporarily burying it so that it resurfaces again even stronger at a later date?  How do you work toward regaining trust and letting go of negativity toward that which you cannot escape from & stares you in the mirror every time you dare to take a glimpse?  How do you work on letting go of the anger that causes you to engage in forms of punishing yourself without losing who you are in the process?  It really doesn't matter what brought on the internalized anger, because forgiving yourself for anything, no matter how large or small, no matter how theoretical or realistic the issue, is one of the trickiest, most difficult, most scarring challenges ever embarked upon.  Those hot coals Buddha speaks of burn you & scar you from the inside out, and create wounds that feel almost impossible to heal. 

I know that normally I have a positive conclusion that I eventually reach in my blogs, and for the lack of that in this particular one I do apologize.  You see, I'm still learning to forgive myself, to discontinue the internalized negativity, to look in a mirror without annoyance or disgust.  I'm working on it, but it does take time ... and effort ... and honesty at levels I've never experienced before.  I'm hoping that the scars will heal in a pretty, faded pattern, but there's a long way to go and quite a lot of effort to put in before I reach that point.  I shall continue to reach for the nirvana that surely must be self-forgiveness.  Until then, any positive points of guidance will be appreciated.  That, and anyone who wants to join me on my journey for themselves, please feel free to tag along!

Best of luck to all of us!
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress