The Output of Fire

Fire is one of the most therapeutic, fantastic, inspiring elements on the planet (to me).  It provides warmth, light, positiveness, and burns away that which we choose to no longer hold onto.  How awesome is that?!

We sat out by our fire-pit for a couple hours tonight ... so relaxing and lovely.  There is truly something about sitting beside a live fire (not the "fake" gas enabled ones) that simply calms one's senses,  The warmth, the solidness of the logs, the disintegration of anything you happen to throw into it, the beauty of the flames and the glowing embers.  It is truly an organic beauty of an experience.

In work, in school, in family dynamics, in life, are we not similar to the embers and the flames?  There are many moments that any of us is "smoldering" ... figuring things out but not yet ready to let loose.  Then there's the "glowing". So many people "glow" in society but may not realize that they are "warming" those around them.  How unfortunate that they don't realize their worth with regards to everyone they encounter.

The loveliness of the fire and the logs, the dancing flames randomly working themselves through the barriers that might otherwise keep them from the air, which makes those flames further reaching.  How many of us are filled with "fire" to accomplish something, be it a task or job or goal, but in order to achieve that which we desire we must randomly work our way through multiple barriers?  I know it happens to me.  I also know that those dancing, frolicking, colorful flames are similar to the alternative arenas in which I tend to look for "the way through" .... is that true for anyone else?  Is how we look to find a way through situations that may challenge us or stress us indicative of our own colorful personalities?

What about the smoke that rises like ghosts out of what is being disintegrated from something like a fire-pit? What if we took the potential energy of the embers and combined it with the expending energy of the smoke ghosts?  Would it create something unworldly in our minds or imaginations?  Would any of us have the courage to act upon it?

As far as I can see, it's all subjective. Everything in this world is how one actively chooses to view things.  A rainy day can be viewed as a deterrent, or an opportunity to meander in the rain while playing like a happy child in the puddles ... a social media comment that denotes something that goes completely against everything you hold dear can be viewed as a depressant that keeps you up all night, or a challenge to be the better person that helps you look yourself in the mirror each morning ... a voice mail or text or letter that says derogatory things can either cause you to believe you're not good enough, or something that lights those embers underneath you to start a fire flame that simply burns with warmth toward humankind and refuses to put forth ghosts of smoke to blind others in its path.

Isn't it, essentially, up to each and every one of us to determine our reactions to every situation?

Simply my thoughts as I stare at the lovely, warm disintegrating embers of this fire that I enjoyed for most of the evening.  Feel free to come to your own conclusions.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

What if .....

We lost a neighbor today.  A sweet, engaging, elderly gentleman whom I only had surface level conversations with over the past 8 months since we moved here.  He lived 2 doors down, and was a lovely individual.  He hadn't been seen for 2 or 3 days, people got worried, no answer at the door, no sight at the windows ... a neighbor brought out a roof ladder and looked in his upstairs window, he was lying lifeless beside his bed.  Police and fire and medic and eventually, the coroner showed up.  It's so tragic when a life is lost, but it can also be a time for reflection.

My neighbor was a lovely man whom I did not know well, but always enjoyed our short chats when we would encounter each other.  I can only hope that someone would notice my absence in the same way that our neighborhood did if I was not around for a few days.  I hope that, even though he was found lying beside his bed, that he went swiftly and peacefully. One can only wish that for those that we encounter in our lives.

Personally, it makes me ponder what I've done with life, and what I want to be remembered for in my life.  I've gone through many personal trials ... those of you who read my blog know this.  I feel that I have become a better person, a better mom, a better partner, a better human, through those life lessons. But what would others say?  If I didn't show up at normal locations for a few days, would anyone notice?  Think about it with your own life ... regardless of friends, and family, and colleagues, and neighbors, and activities .... if you didn't show up for normal life for a few days, would it be noticed?

For me, the clincher is this ... if I were to leave this earth, what would I have left behind?  I know that I would leave behind two amazing, capable, self-reliant, talented, kind-hearted, open-minded individuals in my children. I have raised them as such.  I'm pretty sure that my family and closest friends would say that I was a strong, capable, kind-hearted, open-minded, caring person, but would they then carry that forward in my memory?  I would hope so.  I would hope that the elderly man that I randomly conversed with on the bus, and the woman on the street that I shared a smile and laugh with, and the server at the last restaurant that I went to where we laughed over an order malfunction, that their days were all a bit brighter or that they would remember me in a positive light.  I would hope that my professors would remember me as intelligent.  I would hope that anyone who ever crossed my path would remember me as caring.  To me, the important part is that however I am remembered, it would be in a positive light.

LIVE EACH DAY AS IF IT IS YOUR LAST.

Love, Hugs, and Positive Karma,
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

The Earth Moved On Valentines Day

Apparently we had an earthquake. I also apparently missed it. Not saying that earthquakes are exciting adventures to be experienced, but feeling the earth actually move on Valentines Day is a bit poetic. Maybe, (hopefully) it's a positive sign of the love for one another and the kindness towards our fellow humankind out there. There's snow on the ground that juxtaposes with the warm colors of rose petals warmly given and lovingly received on this day of love....maybe that juxtaposition here in the south has something to do with the movement of this continent's easternmost plate boundaries. Who knows! Fortunately, there seems to be no reports of major damage or life loss. We should take it as a sign that enough love in the world actually Can move mountains!

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Snow Days Thoughts

I'm a southern girl, born & raised in the south. As a child, we would normally get at least one serious snow per year. As I grew older, the snow became less and less. Getting a foot and a half in a day, plus sleet, well, the last time that happened was a decade ago! Talk about a city shut down ... AND they're calling for temps near 70 degrees in 3 to 4 days from now! Hello schizophrenic weather!

Regardless, I've had a ball with this "throwback to childhood".  Sledding with friends, popcorn & hot beverages, laughing at our pets in the snow, throwing snow at your sweetheart just to get their goat ... fun times!!! Bonus, watching the winter Olympics in a snow storm is way more exciting. :)

Stay safe & warm, my friends. These are the moments in life that can never be traded. Treasure them!

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

Continuation of the Wallet Lessons ....

Many of you know that my wallet was stolen about 2 weeks ago, and that I learned a number of life lessons from reflection upon the experience.  Those lessons have definitely continued!  Through the process of canceling and reordering or replacing all the elements of my life contained in that wallet, I have discovered the following ....

1. There are so many people out there who are wonderful and helpful and willing to empathize. At the grocery store when ID is needed to validate a purchase, but all you have is an expired one because your new one hasn't shown up yet after reordering, or bank customer service spending extra time making sure that the system recognizes your new joint account card, even though you have yet to receive your new passcode, or going to the pharmacy to refill a prescription and the pharmacy tech simply pulls your past information so that you don't have to worry about the insurance cards you haven't received replacement on yet .... restoration of faith in strangers.
2. I am with someone who completely supports, assists, and goes above and beyond even though it may disrupt his life.  The fact that we had to pre-plan so that he got cash out for me so that I could grocery shop or even just basic function for the week and he automatically did without thought, the fact that when my new debit card came in from the bank and wouldn't work correctly he left work to come meet me so that I wasn't stuck at the grocery store and unable to make rehearsal on time, which was his immediate reaction.  No repercussions, no issues, no annoyed sighs or exasperated glances.  Just automatic done.  He's a keeper on so many levels.
3. There are bigger problems in the world out there than searching for the downtrodden jerk who created this issue in the first place.  I watch the news and see people that have been shot, or fires that have been set, or children that have suffered abuse at the hands of those they trusted, or horrible occurrences happening throughout the world ... my issue, while sometimes all-encompassing and definitely stress-making in my life, is far less important in the grand scheme of things than any of these other things.  I have a police report, and, while everything was being reported, I had the total concentration of some really wonderful officers of the law who embodied everything that one would hope for during a time such as that.  Hopefully the person will be caught, but I would fully expect and rather that they focus on the larger problems of the world than my, by comparison, important to me but less important in the big picture issue.

There you are.  Just had to get that out.  Happy Monday to everyone!

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress

A Poem

My brain is so tired, it is turned to mush.
It feels like oatmeal, a watery gush,
Of facts, and figures, and chemical things,
That are supposed to be elements, but continue like strings,
Of data and colors and numbers and goop,
Of gobbledy, goobledy, gookidy-goo.
I'm studying chemistry, studying facts,
Studying psych and research and math.
Numbers and figures and letters, oh my!
They get in the way of the things that I try,
To make the main purpose of what I achieve,
On what I focus, on what helps me breathe.
My children, my art, choreography, and tunes,
The moments my Love brings and acts as my muse.
I cannot stop now, I cannot go back,
I refuse to accept that I cannot attack,
All of these things,
My brain cells are fried,
Yet even though it causes great stress inside,
I keep trudging forward, hold onto what's there,
'Cause one day the stressors will know to BEWARE,
Those people who doubt, those who don't trust,
I've got this. I know it. Hear this,
EAT MY DUST.

~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress