There are literally thousands of articles, books, blogs, and quotes that claim to tell us what the "key to happiness" is. Some are old, some new, some are based more in religious origins, and some are more based in adages or folktales. They all give us different, yet similar words of wisdom. So what exactly is this elusive key? Is it able to be found? Is it a constant for everyone?
I believe the answer is no. No, it cannot be "found" like a lost article of clothing or a good luck trinket. No, it is not a constant entity that is the same for everyone. No, it is not one single simplistic word, or thought, or action, or way of doing things, or entity of any kind. I have come to learn, that the key to happiness is within yourself. An individual way of thinking, acting, and living that exists in each of us. Allow me to elaborate.
Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a girl that honestly believed that if she did everything that everyone else wanted her to do in the exact way that made everyone else happy, she would be the best person she could be, and therefore, be happy herself. Over a period of many years, she came to realize that just because someone else wanted things done a certain way, or thought that she should act or be a certain way, that was ultimately life as it should be lived according to that other person, not to her. In essence, she was making herself miserable, and losing the parts of herself that made her happy, by trying so desperately hard to make sure everyone else was happy and secure with how she handled everything in her life. Once she came to this realization, and began to do things in ways that worked for her, some of those close to her initially got their feelings hurt and many eventually faded out of her life, and, some of those that she thought were positive for her life turned out to be not so positive for her at all. There were a few, though, that even though they initially were confused or resisted the change, ultimately became the people who truly respected, understood, and are, to this day, her closest confidants and biggest supporters. That change also opened her up to new people who loved and respected her for exactly who she was and how she chose to live.
The moral of the story is this ...... happiness is what works for each individual person. There is no "key". There is no one single path. There is no magic potion or perfect way of acting or living. It is simply being who you are and not allowing anyone or anything else, be it friend or foe, family or non, neither colleagues nor strangers, to have the power to control or change what is ultimately best for You.
Life is filled with combinations of stress and relaxation, happiness and sadness, joy and despair, hopeful moments and depressive moments. That's the point. Living each of them to the fullest makes us human. Squelching our natural selves so that others are happy doesn't allow us to live those moments at all. Our ability to be happy also changes in nature over time. What worked when we were kids, or teenagers (did anything work when we were teenagers?!), changes. Through each decade of life, and each stage of life, that which makes us most happy is in constant flux, yet, if we allow ourselves to simply be ourselves, it can absolutely be found within each of us, and happiness achieved.
I challenge everyone reading this blog to try at least one of these .... the next time you walk to the store or walk the dog, notice something new or different that you pass every 10 to 12 steps; the next time you go into a store of any kind, smile at someone for no reason at all or say "have a great day" to a total stranger; and notice the reactions in both yourself and the other person. The next time you feel stressed out, paint what you feel, or play with a pet, or knit a scarf in bright colors you wouldn't normally use, or plant a beautiful flower by your window. Notice the beauty of the most simple things around you. Do a yoga sun salutation each morning, or simply take your coffee cup with you outdoors, breathe in the air and look at what's surrounding you, wherever you may be. The smallest things can be the biggest triggers to finding your niche, so don't discount them.
Whatever works for You, is Your key to happiness. It doesn't have to be complex, it's simply whatever brings a smile to your face, or a temporary quiet to your mind. Find it and embrace it, whatever "it" may be.
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress
I believe the answer is no. No, it cannot be "found" like a lost article of clothing or a good luck trinket. No, it is not a constant entity that is the same for everyone. No, it is not one single simplistic word, or thought, or action, or way of doing things, or entity of any kind. I have come to learn, that the key to happiness is within yourself. An individual way of thinking, acting, and living that exists in each of us. Allow me to elaborate.
Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a girl that honestly believed that if she did everything that everyone else wanted her to do in the exact way that made everyone else happy, she would be the best person she could be, and therefore, be happy herself. Over a period of many years, she came to realize that just because someone else wanted things done a certain way, or thought that she should act or be a certain way, that was ultimately life as it should be lived according to that other person, not to her. In essence, she was making herself miserable, and losing the parts of herself that made her happy, by trying so desperately hard to make sure everyone else was happy and secure with how she handled everything in her life. Once she came to this realization, and began to do things in ways that worked for her, some of those close to her initially got their feelings hurt and many eventually faded out of her life, and, some of those that she thought were positive for her life turned out to be not so positive for her at all. There were a few, though, that even though they initially were confused or resisted the change, ultimately became the people who truly respected, understood, and are, to this day, her closest confidants and biggest supporters. That change also opened her up to new people who loved and respected her for exactly who she was and how she chose to live.
The moral of the story is this ...... happiness is what works for each individual person. There is no "key". There is no one single path. There is no magic potion or perfect way of acting or living. It is simply being who you are and not allowing anyone or anything else, be it friend or foe, family or non, neither colleagues nor strangers, to have the power to control or change what is ultimately best for You.
Life is filled with combinations of stress and relaxation, happiness and sadness, joy and despair, hopeful moments and depressive moments. That's the point. Living each of them to the fullest makes us human. Squelching our natural selves so that others are happy doesn't allow us to live those moments at all. Our ability to be happy also changes in nature over time. What worked when we were kids, or teenagers (did anything work when we were teenagers?!), changes. Through each decade of life, and each stage of life, that which makes us most happy is in constant flux, yet, if we allow ourselves to simply be ourselves, it can absolutely be found within each of us, and happiness achieved.
I challenge everyone reading this blog to try at least one of these .... the next time you walk to the store or walk the dog, notice something new or different that you pass every 10 to 12 steps; the next time you go into a store of any kind, smile at someone for no reason at all or say "have a great day" to a total stranger; and notice the reactions in both yourself and the other person. The next time you feel stressed out, paint what you feel, or play with a pet, or knit a scarf in bright colors you wouldn't normally use, or plant a beautiful flower by your window. Notice the beauty of the most simple things around you. Do a yoga sun salutation each morning, or simply take your coffee cup with you outdoors, breathe in the air and look at what's surrounding you, wherever you may be. The smallest things can be the biggest triggers to finding your niche, so don't discount them.
Whatever works for You, is Your key to happiness. It doesn't have to be complex, it's simply whatever brings a smile to your face, or a temporary quiet to your mind. Find it and embrace it, whatever "it" may be.
~ The Girl In The Little Black Dress
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